Behavioral change pattern

Dear friends,
Today I shall focus on understanding the change in behavior of an individual child from childhood to the time he/she is 16-18 years of age. When a child is born, the mother of the child is the whole world for him/her and the life of the child revolves around her, irrespective of the gender.The child tries to look for her for every thing even when he/she is considered not  being able to understand many happenings around him/her. As the child grows up, he starts feeling the presence of other members of the family also, who may be the father or any other person staying close to him most of the times. By the age of 2-3 years  most of the children start liking or disliking certain things because of some reasons ,which I would avoid discussing here. The child becomes friendly to the same age group kids and share things with them (in some case it may be the other way also).When he/ she starts going to play school or pre- primary school then his/her world becomes bigger and find new friends and get exposed to outside world and unknown adults. But very quickly the child gets along with them, particularly the teacher.During this time the mother and the teacher are the most important people in the life of the child.As he grows, friends and other things start influencing his activities but still he is more attached to the family and the teachers by the age of 10- 11 years. After that you might have observed that the child who used to share everything happening around him/her with parents and teachers does not do the same that often as before.Many parents feel relieved now because they take it  that the child has grown up and they are not required to communicate with him that frequently.This is the first stage of the gap starting between parent/teachers and the child. From the age 11-14 years   the child is more attached to the friends and develops liking towards certain things depending upon the nature of majority of his friends.During this period,  the parents also create enough space in their life but more space is taken by friends and most of the times by outside celebrities or so called role models for them.Theystart living in the world of fantasy and real world does not impress and interest them.They start arguing with parents and teachers but not very strongly. The distance between them  further increases. The boys tend to become close to mothers and girls to their fathers(there are exceptions also depending upon parents behavior) .From the age of 15-18 years ,the children do not feel comfortable with anything told to them ,contrary to what they think or want to do.They spend more time with the peers than with the parents or the teachers.They want to be allowed to do the things they want and not to be directed for anything , at times even proper advise is also taken negatively.They do respect their elders including teachers but  feel shy of expressing it to them.They do feel proud of the family but the communication gap between the adults and the children becomes quite obvious and mostly it widens because of lack of understanding on the part of adults.What I mentioned above is the changed behavioral pattern which has been happening and will be there in future also. The only difference which has come is that the pace of change has increased and the age group mentioned above is also changing fast.
The changed  pattern in adults` behavior, specially the parents, towards the growing kids is also interesting to be discussed. What I have observed is, till the child is studying in primary classes (up to 5), remains in touch with the teachers almost all the time whenever required , but as the age and class of the child goes up the attendance of the parents in PTMs and communication otherwise also reduces rapidly.By the time the child is in 11th or 12th, most of the parents have very little interaction with the teachers which is not the right thing done for our children. Behavioral change is a natural phenomena and we should allow that to happen but  it is also important to provide proper guidance to our kids whenever they need. We should not get away from them, but our role should change as our children grow and when they are in classes 9th -12th ,we should be their friend, philosopher and guide; intrude in their life but at the same time,always remain available to them so that they can share everything they want to share.
These are my thoughts and I shall be more than happy to be advised more on this.

Comments

  1. Behavior changes are bound to happen and it should be welcomed.one more point what i have observed sir that either parents are becoming too involved in their child's life leading them too become over dependent and bossy or they are too aloof in what all is happening with their child.this imbalance is making this volcanic generation confused and irritated.They should remember the difference between being for the child and being with the child
    If you permit sir these are few points i would like to share here:-

    1.Know who your TEENS friends are
    2.Give them Boundaries
    3.Get involved with their activities
    4.Be a parent. Don't dress like a teen, don't act like a teen
    5.Help them understand that there is a difference between loving them and loving their choices.
    6.Educate yourself on the temptations that they daily face
    7.Make time to have one-on-one experiences with your teen
    8.Don't "bail them out" of bad decisions or choices that they may have made
    9.Keep a good sense of humor on hand and smile often
    10.Teach them the value of money. Help them to find a job and teach them to follow a budget
    11.Be a teacher not a lecturer
    12.Develop better patience

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