Kids with healthy selves

The children who are able to take decisions for themselves are able to own the consequences of the same so well and in the other case when they are asked  to perform a task by others specially the elders, they feel depressed if they do not get the desired results. In the second case, the result was not necessarily desired by the kids but the adults and in the first case the children had thought of the result themselves.What does it mean ? The simple answer is that the children should be allowed to take their own decisions and not always be forced the desire and the will of the parents and the teachers. The self esteem of the child is very important but the psychologist are of the opinion that self- efficacy is equally important.They say that the self-efficacy is the belief that we can successfully impact our world.Unlike self -esteem which is concerned with the knowing of self worth. Self-efficacy is the judgements of personal capabilities.Though most of the times self-efficacy overlaps self-esteem, but two are not the same.Self-esteem does not have a strong correlation to academic, personal and interpersonal success but self efficacy has a strong correlation with positive outcomes with the children.When the children are high on self efficacy they find it easy to act on their behalf.The ability to act appropriately in one`s best interest is said to be agency. Self-esteem refers to beliefs whereas self-efficacy refers to actions, but both of them refer to personal control.It means both of them are interrelated. The more we feel to exert control in the world, we are more likely to act effectively.
After going through the above mentioned thoughts it is clear that the kids who are promoted to take their own decisions, prove to be more effective in strong actions as well. You must have observed that even the newly born kid does not want to be forced to do something which he/ she is not willing to. Take the case when the mother feels that the child should be fed milk and the child does not want the same ,he/she will not allow the mother to feed him/her.And there can be many more such examples where the children want to be left to themselves.If the child is not wanting to sleep he will not sleep even after the best efforts of the parents. What does it conclude? Right from the childhood, the children unknowingly convey it that the they should not be forced to do the things.This is very important for the parents to enhance the self esteem of the child and develop it further. Self esteem in simple terms is the faith of an individual in the potential of the same. And what we do most of the time, is force children to believe that they need the help of the parents and other people around them which does not help them. And that is why it is very important to allow and help our children to think and act as they feel doing without being very rigid about our own ideas.All must be aware that the kids want to crow land, then walk and then run and then ride a bike and finally drive their cars.If the parents force the child first to do things which are not in this order, the child will not develop self esteem and will be lacking in self-efficacy as well.Forcing the kids to do things as per our wish will not allow them to become healthy selves and if it is so then even if they have high grades in their school exams and other achievement they may not be able to act effectively.I shall end the topic by with an example.Take the case of an infant who squeezes a soft toy and finds that a novel sound is produced.From this the infant learns how his/her actions impact the environment around.Imagine if the same sound was produced by the action of the parents or any other adult or person.The infant would feel that the actions did not arise from within him/her.This can be seen practically also, when an adult tries to produce the sound with the help of any toy, the children do not get satisfied till they have experienced the same themselves.I do not mean that the parents do not have to help the kids but definitely they should not force their ideas and the wishes on the children. Guiding them as and when required is all right but being an obstacle to the development of the healthy selves will prove harmful.

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