The price of being from an affluent family

While going through the book written by Madeline Levine on the topic the price of privilege,I came across some disturbing but very true incidents which forced me to think about the article I wrote few days back on concerted parenting. Everybody expects that the material gains will make the people happier than what they were before.But the reality is not the same.This is true that fulfillment of the basic needs is very important and when these needs are met the people do feel happy. But once this is done the material gains do not make people more happy in the same proportion rather it has been found that the happiness become constant at one particular point of the material gain and if the person still tries to possess or achieve more, it will reverse the graph.When I say that the graph will be reversed that means that the material gains will have negative impact on the happiness quotient. Now the question which arises is how does this problem affect the children from the affluent families? And this author has tried to find the answer for the same and also the reason behind that.One day she was approached by a parent to help her daughter because they found her a bit withdrawn in doing her work. When Madeline spoke to the child, the prompt answer from her was that she was feeling empty. This was a surprising statement from a child of age twelve or thirteen. Than after many sessions it could be found that the child belonged to a good family background and the parents were really very concerned about her well being  and they wanted her to succeed in everything that she did.This probably made the child feel that the parents were more concerned to fill her with lots of information and the achievements. This is not the case with one child in one country but if seen seriously, the same will be found with most of the children in all countries whether developed or under developed.

This is also true that anxious parents make anxious children. And if analysed then it will be found that most of the parents who have earned a lot of money tend to get more as they are not satisfied with what they have got.As mentioned before that the fulfillment of the basic needs make people feel happy because that is the necessity of a person so that he/she could make all required things available to themselves as well as the family members.But nobody feels happy with what has been achieved and try to get more which may be much more than the basic needs of the person.The things which are procured now are not necessarily necessity but luxury and this continues life long.Take an example and ask someone who earn Rs.twenty thousand today how much more will make him/her happy and the answer may be fifty thousand.And then ask the other person  who earns one lac and the answer might be two lacs.They are the people from the same country but the limit of the money which may make them happy is different but the fact is that when the first person earn fifty thousand and is asked the same question again he will invariably says that he/she needs more money to be happy.So the lust to earn more increases in the proportion of what you have today.What does it lead us to?It appears that more materialistic gains will increase the lust of the people and in the process reduce the happiness

Such parents who are capable of providing all the facilities to their children make them so much dependent either on themselves or on others that children are not able to develop self confidence and it becomes a  problem  for them .When  the  girl in this  case says  that  she  was empty it explains everything. She has got all the things outwardly but has not gained anything internally and that is why she felt empty.The parents from upper middle class force their children to have high expectations and do everything possible to achieve that.The high expectations are not really wrong but at times when it is done at the cost of their own desire and interest it becomes a problem.In such cases the parents love is experienced as conditional on achievement and the children are at risk for serious emotional problem.In USA the study has shown that the children from rich family are in higher percentage  with emotional disorders than the ones from the middle class. This is a surprising revelation and contrary to what most people thought before.The child who says that she is empty also want their parents to extend their love to her unconditionally without expectations. This has been observed so many times on regular basis that if the child achieves something which raises the status of the parents in the society then parents tend to give him/her one or the other expensive gifts. Does this not prove that the parents love and appreciate the achievements more than the children themselves.The children are the reflection of their upbringing and the values imbibed by them and they try to do,the same what they have been exposed to.One child mentioned to, the counsellor that my parents are everywhere but still nowhere at the same time.

The children who come from the affluent family are in any case are not happier than others though this may appear so.They are the ones who are deprived of so many things which really bring more happiness to the children.They are the ones who are pushed by the parents very hard because they are expected to perform better than their parents and also they have better facilities than the other group of the children. The parents feel  great  by providing them all the facility and the help and when the child does not preform to their expectations they push them further.When the children are asked what makes them happy,many of them  said that when they sit and have food with the family members is most relaxing because that is the time when there is togetherness. The parents must try to understand that they should not be over involved in wrong things and under involved in right things and that too both at the same time.This is a very important topic for me and I am not able to convey all what i want to otherwise this will become quite lengthy hence the remaining things will be taken up in future. By that time read it give me feedback and if you can share some examples which endorse what i think and also if you have something which is related to this universal issue, kindly share it.