Matured behaviour:A wise gesture

While watching a TV serial based on Mohammed Gaznavi of Afganistan who invaded India a number of times to ransack the Somnath temple.This one episode made me to think about the stress somebody can create for self. When he was defeated for the first time and came to know that one girl child was responsible for his defeat, he decided not to let the wound that was inflicted on his neck get healed and made sure that it remains as it is so that he does not forget the pain of the defeat and keep trying to win. This made me to realize that in day to day life also many of us do not allow ourselves to come out of the problems which might have come our way either by chance or created by somebody knowingly or unknowingly. This happens so many times in our life.

If we analyze it seriously then it will be found that most of the times stress is self created and the person keeps on hurting self without realizing the repercussions of the same. I have been sharing it with the teachers and the parents that if they were not happy with someone due to one or the other reason then anything done by the other person will be seen  in a negative sense. For example, if two good friends had some misunderstanding on some issues and unfortunately it grows to the level that the direct communication breaks down; then it is generally observed that anything said or done by one, hurts the other one, though it might not have been said or done for or against him/her. The teachers particularly come across such situations very often in their daily life because they interact with a lot of human beings every day. A teacher who had worked very hard for the betterment of his/her students may not always get the desired results. This should not hamper the spirit of the teacher rather he/she should feel grateful to this situation because every situation helps us to learn lessons of  life. If the teacher was doing everything possible for the child and still the child and the parents blamed him/her then in spite of feeling hurt the teacher should try to understand if there was anything wrong own her part or this was the perception of the child and his/her parents. If it is found that something was lacking on his/her part even then  he/she should not feel bad rather try to do better. In case the child and the parents were not right in their approach, the teacher should not feel dejected and should move ahead without letting him/her stop doing good for the children because you cannot have control on the thinking and perception of the other people in all situations.

The people who keep everything to their self and associate everything with success or failure will have problems. Success or failure are relative terms and it will all depend upon the situation and the mature person would be able to differentiate and take a step ahead as per the requirement of the situation. This has also been observed that some people make up their mind about some issues or someone and they are not able to change their thinking because of negative thoughts dominating their minds completely.This is not very healthy for the individual or the other people,family or the organisation. Suppose a teacher had been doing well and the management appreciated the efforts of the teacher which made him/her very happy. Sometimes this teacher becomes so habitual of the appreciation or the attention he/she was getting that the entry of the other person becomes intolerable though the other teacher might also need the kind of the opportunity and the appreciation the this teacher was getting but the negative state of the mind   does not allow him/her to take things in a positive way. Sometimes the situation becomes so pathetic that the person who was doing well gets into depression which is neither good for that person nor for others.

I wrote about the dilemma of a sincere teacher yesterday and I would like to suggest her to move on and think only about the positive side of the case discussed and should not be bogged down by the negative side. My advice to the teacher is that she should not think of being let down by the child or the parents but be confident that this case has made her more mature and a better equipped teacher than what she was before this. It happens so many times to us during the day that if we keep thinking about the same things which drive us to negative side of the life then we  shall never be able to live a happy life. This is true that we should not let us forget our intention of achieving something in life but no negative force should be strong enough to defeat out strength and  will power. So all those people who get disturbed very soon should see the world with both sides and look at others perception and problems also. We should not behave like small kids but act as a mature person who is responsible for the future of the young generation. What I mean will be clear by the following example. You might have observed that till a family has one child the whole attention is paid to him/her only. The parents do everything possible for this child. When the second child is born then naturally some attention is diverted to this new member of the family also. Now if we observe the feelings of the elder child,we find that he/she starts feeling ignored or neglected and from within develop negative feelings towards the newly born baby. Though the parents do not ignore him/her but such feelings come to the mind of the elder one and he/she consider the other child responsible for this and sometimes starts hating him/her. The mindset of the children can be understood because they may not be matured enough to distinguish between two situations but we as adults are expected to be matured enough to distinguish and take the right path. Why should we allow ourselves to be the slave of the situations rather create the situation for the good of self and others. Our students and the colleagues are the best source of knowledge and  support to us, so let us exploit their strength and do not allow the other side to hamper our path of progress and happiness.