Difference between appreciation and bribe
During an interaction with the parents of our students we discussed many aspects of parenting which are important for healthy upbringing of the children.The parents were very keen to understand the role to be played by them so that their children are supported in the best possible manner.Some of them were more concerned about the academics and many others regarding the behavior of the children.The general feeling was that in the last few decades academics had taken over everything due to which many important aspects of the child`s personality were ignored unknowingly having a negative impact.The marks had become very important because quality had been taken over by the quantity.Now all concerned have started feeling that the fast eroding values are doing no good and they want their children to imbibe values which in the name of being modern or advanced are being lost in the light of material gains.All understand that these values do not necessarily come by lectures and reading the articles in the magazines or the books but by real examples set by the parents, teachers and society.The society and other factors also influence the thought process of the children but the utmost impact is of what they see happening around them.
While discussing this point we started talking about the impact of the corruption and how our children are being influenced.All were appreciative of the role played by the young children and the youth of the country in the recently held movement by Sh.Annaji and other members of the civil society and India against corruption.During the discussion, a point was raised that when the parents tell their children to score a particular percentage of marks or get 'A' grade in all subjects or excel in the field of the dance or art or music and lot of other achievement depending upon the desire of the parents and if done so, the children would be given some costly mobile or motorcycle or car or any other costly items.The question asked was,if it was not equivalent to bribing a child to achieve something which he/she otherwise was not able to do? Is it not that the children were indirectly and unknowingly being forced to ask for something in lieu of fulfilling the dreams and desire of the parents.It was a very delicate issue taken up but most of the parents were of the opinion that it may be termed as equivalent to bribing the child to achieve something which he/she was not doing without this trick of allurment.
One of the parents raised a very important question that it can not be termed as the bribe in every case because the children are to be appreciated for something good done by them.He asked if appreciation should be taken as bribe? This was a very genuine and important question which should be discussed in detail and be understood well. While discussing, we realised that there was a thin line of difference between appreciation and bribe, particularly in case of the children and that is why the parents and the teachers must understand it very well so that our children learn good and right things only.There seems to be two major differences between appreciation and bribe.The first difference is that appreciation is unconditional, while bribe is conditional.For example, if a child has done very well in any competition which he/she was not good at and somebody says good and motivating words or give some prize or gift, it should be treated as the appreciation because for this there was no prior condition stated to the child.In the other case, the child was told in advance that if you will achieve a target, then only some gift or prize will be given to you,then this could be put in the category of bribe.The second difference is that appreciation comes after the achievement has been made and not before, whereas if something is promised or given before the achievement then it might be termed as the bribe.Appreciation makes the child to feel good and self satisfied which is not always combined with material things while bribe is usually associated with material gains.Though this seems to be a debatable topic but one thing which everybody agreed was that the children should be encouraged and taught to achieve some better grades in curricular or extra curricular activities or behave in a better way to learn for self and the society and not for the material gains promised by the parents or the teachers.Another word which can help us to be more clear is encouragement which can be used before or after the achievement of the child.Suppose a teacher tells a child that he is capable of doing well in any particular field and the child tries to do well then it is neither appreciation nor bribe but a benign motivation to help the child grow. Appreciating the efforts of the child later on will be encouragement.So, it is not only appreciation and bribe but other natural reactions of the parents which will make a child confident.The parents and teacher should encourage the kids as and when required and also correct them if needed.Children should not be encouraged to make demand for something which is unjust because if the parents and the teachers give in to wrong demands then rather than helping them to excel and nurture their talents and abilities,they will curb and destroy them.So,sooner or later we have to understand the difference between appreciation and bribe and act accordingly for the benefit of posterity.
While discussing this point we started talking about the impact of the corruption and how our children are being influenced.All were appreciative of the role played by the young children and the youth of the country in the recently held movement by Sh.Annaji and other members of the civil society and India against corruption.During the discussion, a point was raised that when the parents tell their children to score a particular percentage of marks or get 'A' grade in all subjects or excel in the field of the dance or art or music and lot of other achievement depending upon the desire of the parents and if done so, the children would be given some costly mobile or motorcycle or car or any other costly items.The question asked was,if it was not equivalent to bribing a child to achieve something which he/she otherwise was not able to do? Is it not that the children were indirectly and unknowingly being forced to ask for something in lieu of fulfilling the dreams and desire of the parents.It was a very delicate issue taken up but most of the parents were of the opinion that it may be termed as equivalent to bribing the child to achieve something which he/she was not doing without this trick of allurment.
One of the parents raised a very important question that it can not be termed as the bribe in every case because the children are to be appreciated for something good done by them.He asked if appreciation should be taken as bribe? This was a very genuine and important question which should be discussed in detail and be understood well. While discussing, we realised that there was a thin line of difference between appreciation and bribe, particularly in case of the children and that is why the parents and the teachers must understand it very well so that our children learn good and right things only.There seems to be two major differences between appreciation and bribe.The first difference is that appreciation is unconditional, while bribe is conditional.For example, if a child has done very well in any competition which he/she was not good at and somebody says good and motivating words or give some prize or gift, it should be treated as the appreciation because for this there was no prior condition stated to the child.In the other case, the child was told in advance that if you will achieve a target, then only some gift or prize will be given to you,then this could be put in the category of bribe.The second difference is that appreciation comes after the achievement has been made and not before, whereas if something is promised or given before the achievement then it might be termed as the bribe.Appreciation makes the child to feel good and self satisfied which is not always combined with material things while bribe is usually associated with material gains.Though this seems to be a debatable topic but one thing which everybody agreed was that the children should be encouraged and taught to achieve some better grades in curricular or extra curricular activities or behave in a better way to learn for self and the society and not for the material gains promised by the parents or the teachers.Another word which can help us to be more clear is encouragement which can be used before or after the achievement of the child.Suppose a teacher tells a child that he is capable of doing well in any particular field and the child tries to do well then it is neither appreciation nor bribe but a benign motivation to help the child grow. Appreciating the efforts of the child later on will be encouragement.So, it is not only appreciation and bribe but other natural reactions of the parents which will make a child confident.The parents and teacher should encourage the kids as and when required and also correct them if needed.Children should not be encouraged to make demand for something which is unjust because if the parents and the teachers give in to wrong demands then rather than helping them to excel and nurture their talents and abilities,they will curb and destroy them.So,sooner or later we have to understand the difference between appreciation and bribe and act accordingly for the benefit of posterity.
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