Criticism and appreciation

My thoughts on the topic does appreciation increase competition have generated lively debate among the people who read it and are always there to helping polish my ideas on different topics which are very relevant to the life of the children, teachers and the parents. Many of them are of the opinion that without appreciation life will become dry and there will be no motive for the people to perform better. Others feel that appreciation might be all right in some extraordinary situations but not always and there are many who say appreciation does no good in the long run. While discussing all this with my friends I thought of another aspect of human nature. The opposite of the appreciation seems to be criticism and we all get involved in this at one or other point of time.We all get in a situation when we either criticise somebody or other criticise us.If compared then we shall find that people use criticism more than appreciation. Is criticism good or bad? Does criticism help the other people improve or hinders the progress and the improvement? These are important questions to be discussed and understand what is good for the human being. One day I would like to understand why criticism make us feel bad and appreciation does the opposite. Criticism is something which self or somebody else tries to genuinely analyze about the things which have not been done as per the norms or the expectations of the family or the society. All try to do their level best to do something great and want other people to give their feedback. When we are told about our shortcomings most of us do not take them kindly. Though outwardly all say please give me the honest feedback. When it comes to sharing the views regarding any programme different people give different opinion for the same thing. So the feedback is not absolute but relative and depends upon the perception of the person concern. I have experienced many situations where the same person gave opposite opinion for the same situation on two different days. One day a father came home and he was happy because of some good order he go for the goods to be export by his organization. The child at home was playing and while doing so he damaged something which was costly and was purchased a few days back only. The father did not react negatively and said no problems he could get another one and did not say anything to the child rather appreciated him that he was doing some physical activity. The child was happy because he was not scolded by father rather was appreciated in a way. After few days the same child while playing broke something which was quite old and not of much use. The father came stressed from his office and the moment he saw the damaged article. He was very upset with that and scolded his son very badly and told him that house was not the place to do physical exercise and he should have gone out for the same so that there was no damage to the things at home. Look almost the same kind of situation but two different reactions. If the father had told the child in the first instance only that he was not unhappy due to what was done by him but this was not good to play at home and if the child was willing to play he should have gone out. This would have been good for all because this was neither appreciation nor criticism. Another example is of one teacher who was very hard working and would do everything possible for the good of the children and the school. The headmaster was quite happy with her and used to give her many responsibilities. She used to teach those children at her home who were not able to cope with their studies in the school. Till everything was going well nobody dared to say anything against her but one day unhappy parents complained against her. The problem was that she had asked children to do some extra work and on that day the parents were to go somewhere out. The child was sincere to complete her work and the parents wanted her to accompany them. This created a problem at home and the same parents who were quite happy with the teacher criticized her for giving too much of work and forcing the children to study so much that they were losing their childhood. In both the cases the criticism was unwanted and not justified but this tool is used properly this can prove to be tremendous help to all of us. Positive criticism is as important as the food for the life. This helps people to improve and not to repeat the mistake. The criticism can be from outside as well as from within. Those who want to do better always fell happy to get critical feedback. They are happier to listen to the areas in which they could not do well. Tough many people encourage their friends and other people to give honest feedback but always expect appreciation for what they have done or are doing. Criticism should be taken in the positive way and the ones who criticize should be thanked because appreciation is easy response than criticism. While you criticize somebody a reason has to be given and for that a person should know very well about the thing for which criticism is done. Those who criticize should also be careful because the feedback given by them can make difference in the life of the person about whom anything is said. While criticizing somebody the objective should be to help him/her and not the enjoyment. Do not use criticism to transfer your frustration to somebody else. The criticism word may seem to be negative but the outcome of the same can be used for the improvement of the skill or the approach. May people feel bad when they are criticized but they should remember the lines by one of the great poet that “ nindak niyare rakhiye aangan kuti chhawaye. Bin saboon paani bina nirmal kare suhhaye.” The meaning of the same is that you should always keep a critic close to you who will help you to clean thoughts without any expenditure. This is the reason the concept of the critical friends is very much popular nowadays. This helps us to take care of those areas and the problems which we are not able to see our self. What I feel that criticism is better tool to improve than any any thing else and it should be used for the good in spite of felling bad when criticised.