Monday, November 21, 2011

Anxiety of the parents


In the last days, I came across two important issues raised/shared by the parents of the children studying in the school and the one who passed out from the school last year. In the first incident, the child was admitted in the school this year and had come from other school from a different city. The child had been doing all right but somehow the parents were not happy with the way the teacher had handled the newly admitted child. This is a genuine problem with the parents of the children who are frequently transferred from one place to another due to the nature of their job. The children of such parents have to re-root themselves in the school having new students and almost unknown teachers. This is natural that they take some time to adjust to the new environment and the teachers also need some time to understand the child and the way he/she is to be integrated in the class. This is not an easy task, neither for the teacher nor for the children. In this situation, the experience and the maturity level of the teachers help him/her the most. Understanding the child psychology is very important because the teacher would not know what might impact in a positive way or vice-versa. But one thing all teachers know that they have to possess a sympathetic attitude towards such children who come in the mid of the session from other schools due to varied reasons. In this particular case, the teacher was probably not that effective in understanding the need of the child due to which parents were feeling a bit uneasy. They approached the in-charge and discussed their problem and were satisfied with the solution which was offered to them. The in-charge was quite happy trying to help the child and the parents so that the child adjusts to the school environment easily and start enjoying coming to the school. In between, parents once again felt that the child was probably not comfortable in the class. They approached the head of the school and discussed the problem with him. When the file of the child and his achievement of the previous class were discussed, the father was rightly very happy to share the same. I would like to share it with you all that the child is in one of the junior classes. What the head could understand and analyze that the parents were too much worried for the future of the child. They wanted him to know everything so well so that he does not lag behind in the life ever. This is the anxiety and the ambition of most of the parents of the day. But the problem is that some of them are so much involved in the life of their children that the children do not have any space left for anything else but parents desires and on the other hand,there is another group of the parents who do not at all bother what and how the child is performing,that means, there is all the space to be filled by other people in such cases. Both the conditions are very good for the proper growth of the children. But the head of the schools do worry about the real concern of the parents who have transferrable job and have to search and plead for the admission of their children after every one to two years in a different school. When this father was told about the way the children learn the most, he agreed but at the same time questioned about the admission policy of the schools in the country.  He said that if his son did not do very well in academics then the admission in the new school would not be easy because most of the good schools select the children based on the merit prepared as per the performance of the children in the entrance examination. We hope this problem will be taken care of as per the provision of the right to education act which will be implemented across the country. The head of the school did feel the pain and the problem of the parent but still advised him not to push the child so much so that when needed he would not be able to perform because it would have been a 'burn out' stage. Let the children be at their pace of learning and we should not force them to do which is beyond their capacity and is not age appropriate.
In the other case, the head of the school met the child and her mother in one of the social gatherings. The head could very easily identify the child and the mother both because the same child had been one of the most disciplined child and had performed very well in co-curricular and extracurricular activities. The teachers found her an obedient, hard working and a sincere student all through her stay in the school. But due to some reasons she could not get into the college of her choice nor in the college of her parent’s choice and due that she was felling low. When the head met her, her first question was whether the head recognized her or not. The fact is that she did not expect the head to remember her and her mother. When the reason for this feeling was asked that as she had done nothing great in the school so why should have the head remembered her. While she was saying this the pains in her eyes could be felt so easily. The head of the school was slightly worried as to why the girl was saying that. As mentioned before, she was a disciplined child who took part in many activities in the school and did perform well in her class XII board examination as well. Then what made her feel so low? Was it that some of her classmates had done better than her or some other pressure. Why did she have this feeling in her mind that all those who perform well academically are remembered? This has left a question mark for all concerned and they must make sure that such feelings do not come in the mind of our children. She did feel little comfortable when the head said that the best thing she had done was that she was a well behaved child who was never involved in anything negative which could have harmed and disturbed anybody. She was the one who would take care of her juniors so well and was always there to help them if they had some difficulty. So for the head she was one of those children who would always be remembered because they will definitely do well in their life irrespective of the standard of the college she might have got into or whatever she will do in future. The parents and the teachers will have to work harder to remove the phobia of the marks from the mind of the children and encourage them to learn effectively in whatever field they are good.
Look at the two examples and you will find in one case the child in class II or III whereas in the second case the child has passed out from the school but both are suffering from the pressure. This is not a good or a happy situation for the children, parents and teachers at all. All have to work hard in such a manner that our children fell happy and proud of whatever they are able to achieve. Let us also teach them to derive happiness from small achievements and not feel depressed or low if they could not get or achieve something big. This will be real education and the efforts of the government will yield good result to make education a joyful exercise for the children.    

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