Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Honest endeavours for honesty


As mentioned by me earlier also that the first lessons of life the children get from the family members. As we have more nuclear families now than before, so all the responsibility has come on the shoulders of the parents only.  They have to cater to all types of the needs of the children including moral, emotional and social . The parents should teach the children various lesson of  honesty and sharing all their problems with them. The children do need the support of the parents especially when they find it difficult to cope-up with the stress and the difficulties faced by them. We should also understand that all human beings are bound to commit some mistakes at one or the other time. Sometimes it happens unknowingly and at times it may be knowingly as well. If the mistakes are due to ignorance or unknowingly and the person realizes the same then it is the learning for life but if this is done deliberately, then we need to take care of that. In most of the cases the children admit  the mistakes committed by them unknowingly. But if that is done otherwise the children tend to avoid admitting their mistakes which is not good. In this situation the role of the parents becomes very important. They should help the children to come out of the guilt or the fear because of which they might be telling a lie. The habit of telling a lie develops because of the fear of punishment due to some wrong thing done by the children. Sometimes they feel that if the mistake or wrong doing is admitted by them, they will face the anger of the parents and hence they tend to avoid telling the truth. If this continues for sometime then it turns into a habit which is very dangerous for the children as well as the parents. The children at young age are innocent and would like to share everything with their parents. But over a period of time many of them do not confide many things of their day to day life with their parents. There are different reasons for that but one of the major reasons is the lack of communication between the parents and the children in their day to day life. The parents are quite busy nowadays and they tend to believe the children for everything they convey to their parents. Sometimes the parents do not understand what is the right approach to be adopted in a particular situation or case. Some parents feel that their children should be perfectly disciplined and any act otherwise is viewed very seriously. There are other parents who do not bother about the activities of the children and always take the side of the children even if they are wrong. Sometimes this is done deliberately and at other times it happens unknowingly. I share two examples with you. In one case, a child of senior class had brought money from home without telling the mother or the father and gave it to some other child due to some reason (It is not good to narrate the whole incident). When the mother of the child was asked whether she was aware about the same or not, she did not utter the direct answer but tried to know what had happened. Now to save her child she told that the money was given by her to the child which was not the case. This was proved later on and the mother felt sorry for the same. I am trying to understand the reason behind the mother`s response. In another case, a child had told the teacher that his home work notebook has been stolen by somebody from his bag. The search was carried everywhere and the bags of the other children were also checked but all in vain. Then the child was asked to search for the same at home because it was also possible that the notebook might have been left at home. The parents were very unhappy with the teachers and blamed the other children and named them in no uncertain terms. The notebook of the child was found at home only and when the father tried to find the reason for the same he was stunned to know that the mother and the child knew and the same was done deliberately because the child was not able to complete the homework. These may be some isolated cases but indicate towards something negative  done by parents. The children will become mostly what the adults would like them to become as far as the behavior is concerned.  I strongly feel that the parents and the teachers should be the role models for their children. The children should be free and confident to share all their problems and the activities of the day with the parents and the teachers. We should not intrude too much into the life of the children but should be honestly aware of their activities. We should believe our children but not blindly. If some teachers or the other members of the family tell us about certain activities of the children which may not be good for them then we must believe them also until proved otherwise. Most of our children are honest and true to what they do and say but sometimes they also tend to be dishonest due to some reasons. So the parents and the teachers should ensure that their children are not forced to a situation of telling a lie. The parents and teachers should also have faith in each other and that will help the children automatically. The parents of the senior classes of the school should remain in touch with the teachers of their ward. The parents should understand that if there is no call from the school does not necessarily mean that everything is fine for their child. They should believe their children but should make the enquiry with the school also. This is because sometimes the children do not inform the parents for the parent teacher meeting due to the fear of their getting exposed to something wrong they had done but they had avoided telling the same to their parents. The parents and the teachers of the children owe a lot of responsibility for their welfare and secured future not in terms of good job only but also to give a good human being to the society.They are those tender hearts who may not understand the right and the wrong,they are in such an impressionable age where surroundings will make all the difference.They can be made honest and promising individuals by the efforts of everyone.All the children are good and let us make sure that they remain the same. 

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