Shaping our progeny

It was about three years back when a news report had shocked the entire nation. While discussing the same with teachers and parents we realized that this was anyway anticipated and nobody was really surprised by that. A few incidents of the recent past have brought the discussion live once again. The latest in the series was the method to which a student of high school resorted to, was really the cause of worry and concern for everyone. What I am referring to here is, the incidence of violence in our schools. We expected this to happen (because of the way our children are being brought up and treated at home and up to some extent in the schools) but not so early. In the race of copying the countries of the west we have been questioning our own family and educational system. Sometimes, it appears as if the real concern for the children is lost somewhere and what we speak and do is for the sake of ensuring the phenomenon of change and the concept of doing the things always in a different manner. I am for the change but, as suggested by many people in the past and the same is shared even today, the change should not be allowed or forced for the sake of change. Certain basic things will remain same while peripheries may undergo some changes. The exhibition of the violence in the schools abroad has been very common but this is new to the Indian schools. As has happened in other issues that negatives of the other countries have been absorbed by us with proud while the good things have not been followed that frequently, the same has happened with our family culture and the school system. Our family culture has been very strong and most of the teachings for the life used to take place at home with the indirect help of the family members informally. As people say that change is inevitable, so this has happened with us . The relationship between the parents and the children used to be quite cordial and the children would follow the good teachings of the parents and they were also confident enough to question for something they were not comfortable with. If we try to understand the present scenario, we apparently find that the children of today are closer to their parents than what the earlier generations were. If it is so, then why the anxiety and frustration level among the kids has gone up? Why do the kids of the day resort to violent acts? Why are they not able to take success and failure as the part of the game? There are many factors for the same and the educationists and the psychologists are trying to understand the same but the most important of them seems to be the manner of bringing up the children. In a society every individual is important and has independent identity. This applies to the children and also the parents. When we talk of family or the society, in both the cases the individuality gets affected and influenced by each other. Nobody can survive happily in isolation. I agree that the children should be respected and treated in a dignified manner but the same is true for the parents and the teachers also. They should also be treated with dignity by all including the children. This is also true that the energy usually flows from higher to lower levels but as per the laws of physics, it flows from lower to higher levels also though the net flow is considered from higher to lower. The experience of the adults is important not only for themselves but for the children also. We study history to understand the success or failure of any event or its historical implication. The experience of the adults is exactly like that history because it is based on their experience with the help of which children can decide future course of action for themselves. This does not mean that the children have to do what their parents or teachers had done, but knowing about the experience would be beneficial for the children. The society cannot survive and progress just because of one individual but with the combined efforts of all. The children must be taught that self achievements are important but if the same helps other members of the society and the family also it would be all the more important. If we look at the childhood activities of the children we find that our children are very close to us and they try to imbibe what we do. They respect the parents and the teachers equally well. But as they grow some changes take place which is very natural. But when, for example, a plant grows it has to be nurtured and trimmed from time to time.Similarly, sometimes some control and guidance is required for even our own children so that their growth can be designed to give them a proper shape as far as their personality is concerned.The parents,teachers,elders,peers and society can guide,advise and channelise the thoughts of children as and when required.However, this intervention should not be confused with interference(which is mostly disliked by the youth of today).In some cases,this exercise of moulding and shaping may take more time and the progress can be slow and gradual with a positive beginning,but the children should certainly not be left to themselves to get deshaped.They should rather be nurtured with the tenderness of plants,not to turn them into weeds but to let them grow into shady green trees.