Compete with self and not with others


This has been said and followed by most of the people that competition is must for progress. This may be true in some cases but let us try to understand the meaning of the word- competition. This certainly means comparing the performance or the achievement of an individual with some other person or individual. By comparing, they try to be better than the other people. But does this competition help all the people in all situations? The nature promotes harmony and not competition, but man has used everything for the benefit of self and if I may say so, for his own enjoyment and self-satisfaction. The truth is that everything created and present in the nature has its own importance. This is very rightly explained by one of our great poets, “ jahan kaam aave sui, kaha kare talwar,” meaning thereby  that the task which can be completed by a tiny needle only, even the mighty sword would not be of any use in that case. It will be the needle only which might be of a great help. From this we can easily understand that if the needle (considered to be fragile in comparison to the sword) tries to become the sword then it will be losing its worth for the task and the purpose it was made. When we talk in context of the human being then there we should not be comparing and competing with the strengths or the weaknesses of the other person but with self only. There is nothing wrong if we try to create better needles which can perform the task in a more effective manner. Similarly, it would be good if an individual try to develop and sharpen the skill he/ she is good at. An individual when tries to become somebody else there are problems arise but trying to become better than self always help to exploit our potential to the maximum. I take another example from the subject of physics. Carnot`s engine is studied by the students of physics. This engine is considered to be an ideal engine having one hundred percent efficiency. Sometime students ask the teachers about the use of studying this engine which cannot be utilized in day to day life. The answer to such question would be that with this comparison the efficiency of the engine can be enhanced. In this case, we are comparing efficiency of the engine with itself and not anything else. Thereby, competition is good for the sake of self-improvisation and helpful behaviour. This should not be allowed to become a stress, producing negativity around.
I am writing all this because most of the parents compare their own kids with other children. They do not realize that their child is absolutely different and no two human beings are similar or of the same caliber in everything. The children learn most of the things naturally from the environment around them. This has an impact on their thinking process and overall development. The anxiety level among the children appears to have increased in the last few years and the major factor responsible for that seems to be their comparison with other children. The parents are looking for every quality in their child only which is probably not the right approach. If a child is doing well in academics and the mother or the father happens to meet a child who might have done well in some other activity, the parents tend to forget or ignore the achievements of their child and compare him for the skill which may not be his/ her strength. This would not have a positive impact on the growth of the child. There may be child who is good when it comes to academic achievement and the other child may be good in performing arts or games and sports. When I say that do not compare an individual that does not mean that we should not look at the achievement of others and appreciate the same. I am of the strong opinion that we should learn from the achievement or the failure of others but we should not try to be better than others. What we should always try to become better than self with the help of the knowledge of the results of others` efforts. Take the example of any great personality - be it from the field of science, social service, politics or any other field, we find that they always endeavoured to do better than others. The Father of our Nation did not try to do better than others any time in the life but self. Great Nelson Mandela is another example who always thought of doing better than what he did the previous day. Winston Churchill, Pt. Nehru, Sardar Patel, Netaji Subhash, Abraham Lincoln, W. Shakespeare, John Milton, Mother Teresa, M.Thatcher and the list would be quite long. All these great people tried to do better than themselves  and worked as per their strengths. Whatever I have read about their childhood, I gather that these people were happy with themselves whether they were able to do that well as they thought of doing or not. They did not worry about the achievement of their friends though the better achievements of their friends were a strong motivation for them but they did not have a feeling of competition with others. They took the benefit of the work done by others and made that as the motivating factor in spite of letting the feeling of jealousy or envy to be born due to the passion of competition.
So the important point which I want to make here and submit the same for the consideration of all and specially the parents of the young children is that, completion word should be used for the benefit of the children to motivate them and not to increase the stress of the children. This is also true that if we do not have the benchmark then the curiosity of doing better is killed. But what I am trying to say is that, this benchmark should be set as per the strengths of an individual and not for the strengths of others.  Suppose a child has the potential of becoming a good dancer then he/she should set a benchmark in that field is spite of competing with someone who might be good in some other field. In this case also the individual should be trying to compete with self and should not try to become somebody else. All the individuals are efficient and capable to do something great in one or the other field and let us all help each other to excel as per our own potential and strengths. The children who are passing through a critical phase due to the explosion of the knowledge and knowing the world more, must be saved from the ill effects which too much of the competition can bring on them. Let an individual child blossom as a distinct identity and be the source of help to others and also self. We can guild our children to aspire, achieve and self-actualize their own dreams rather than looking for the fulfillment and realization of others dreams.   

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