Surrender selfishness

Newspaper reports regarding the stress and tension among the youth of the country is a cause of concern for everyone. This is causing a lot of disturbance in the mind of the parents and the teachers and they are trying to find ways so that the same can be handled effectively. When a news is reported that a young person succumbed to suicide because of some reasons which may not be known immediately, it does not leave anyone without worrying about why is it actually happening. Why are the children and the youth of the country taking their own lives? While discussing the same with the parents and the teachers, it was concluded that it is stress. Though stress may be the major cause of a large number of suicides, but the pattern of the life which is drawing the people to live in isolation and the selfish nature (selfishness appears to be on the increase) is also an important factor for the people resorting to such extreme means. I was trying to understand whether the parents and the other family members are indirectly teaching the children to become selfish?  I would like to cite a few examples here. Suppose there is joint family in which there are parents and grandparents and a few children. It has been found that if the child falls sick then almost all the members try to look after the sick child, which becomes a primary concern and is really required. But the situation may not be the same when the grandfather or the grandmother falls sick. In this situation, most of the times the children are told to  study and not worry about the sick person. This is not true for the grandparents only but the same applies to the situation when the parents fall sick. The children are given to understand that for them, studies and their own work is more important than looking after the ill person in the family. This may not be the universal truth but I have seen this happening in many families. The children are indirectly given to understand that for them their studies and growth is more important than anything else. I may sound to be little impolite in mentioning this but pardon me for expressing it as this is the true story of many families. What I want to convey is that the adults at times teach the children to become selfish in their nature which may not be their intention at all. At the same time, the children are not being given opportunity to imbibe the values like tolerance, patience and empathy for the fellow human beings. Right from the beginning they are trained to be successful in life. The meaning of success has been limited to getting good marks/grades in the examination and then getting handsome jobs which fetches them good money and other comforts of the life. Education is made merely as the means of earning bread and butter and not as the process of learning the life skills which will further help the individuals to become better human beings.

The number of suicide cases is on the rise despite the government’s efforts to reduce the stress during the school education days. The central board of secondary education and other educational bodies are trying to introduce reforms so that the children do not encounter stressful situations. The syllabus has been redefined and the examination system is also being made child friendly. As per the newly introduced right to education act, every child will be declared pass up to class eighth. Though this may seem to be a good step taken by the responsible people but we have to see the results of the same. Has it reduced the stress of the children? For the present, the answer will definitely be yes, but what happens in future when the children grow and will have to fight for respectable position in the society but the competition becomes very tough as there are not enough opportunities available for everyone(as per their desire and not the qualification).  One child aged around twelve years while interacting with the head of a school mentioned that he hated the subject mathematics and he meant what he said. When the head asked him the reason, the child answered that he felt very bad whenever he was unable to solve any problem and as it was on a number of occasions that he was not able to solve mathematical problems. The child was happy with only those things which he was able to solve easily without trying it again and again. Is this the right education? Should our children not learn how to strike a balance in a situation in which they feel to have failed in? Why should children be given to understand that failure is a negative result? Why can we not teach the children that everything they do is a lesson learnt whether they succeed or fail? They can be made to understand that each failure is a stepping stone to success. The people in a position to decide about the future of the children should seriously think if reducing the syllabus or diluting it has made any difference in the lives of the school going children? Is it good that every child is made to go to the next class even if he had not been able to learn ten percent of what was to be learnt at that level? It may appear to be good for a short term but in the long term this would be a problem for this child and the society both. The problem with many of us is that no one wants to be seen as doing or saying something which might require children to work hard. We do not want to be labeled as someone who does not care for the children though this attitude might be harmful for our children at a later stage. The parents and the teachers are worried about the immediate solution without looking at the future. The actions of today will make a lot of impact on the future of our children. I would like to be advised by my worthy friends and the readers whether the number of the suicide cases have increased or decreased despite our best of efforts to reduce the so called burden on our children. I am not saying that the educational reforms are not good for the children but doing that only in the name of reducing stress may not yield positive results in future. The need of the hour is to introduce more courses which can help children to opt for something of their choice and the same may not necessarily prepare them for the white collar jobs only. The vocational courses should be introduced at a school level and the children should be made aware of the importance of learning to help all the human beings. They should be allowed and motivated to look after sick people in the family because if they learn it today in the family then only they will do the same for others also. The real cause of the stress may not be the type of the syllabus or the examination system but the way teaching learning takes place in and outside the class. Also the expectations and the wishes of the parents and other family members forced on the children are to be held responsible for the unbearable stress and the tension caused to them.  We have all sympathy for the family of the people who leave them lamenting for their life but we must try to address the real cause of the same.  If we teach them the care and being responsible and think for others also, then this trend of ending the life untimely may be stopped or reduced to the minimum. If a person thinks and cares for the family members and does not think of the self only then he/she may not resort to such negative means of liberation of self trying to escape the difficult situations. Life is the most important gift given by God for all human beings and we do not have the right to take it away but to live it happily without worrying how much one has achieved or accumulated to be left behind.