Nurture values to strengthen the future of kids

I have a certain belief system when it comes to understanding the kids. It might not be in sync with your understanding of them.  Some people also label my notions about the kids as “idealistic” but I stand firm on it.

Being in the field of education for the last thirty-five years, I come across many cases related to the students and every incident in one or the other way becomes a learning experience for me. I came across the fact that there are some students who create disturbance in the classroom and hinder the teaching learning process. To deal with the situation I discussed it with the parents and teachers of these students but to my disappointment I realized that they have given up on these kids. I am not justifying the kids here but is it plausible to give up on our own kids? Has it come to this, that we cannot persuade and motivate our students and kids towards something constructive? Is it the frustration of the teachers and the parents as well that is being showered upon the kids instead of a sincere portrayal of patience and understanding?

Pondering upon the issue thereafter I stated in my previous article that students shouldn’t be blamed for the incompetence and frustration of teachers and parents. Consequently, I was contradicted and subtly criticized on my views but I still want to state that plants grow in shady trees only when they are nourished and nurtured with patience and care. And a plant needs a specific atmosphere and surrounding to grow based on its distinct features; it cannot flourish everywhere no matter how much you nurture it. A coconut tree can be made to survive in different climatically conditions and might also bear fruits but the quality of fruits cannot be the same as in the environment conducive for the proper growth of these trees.

When I talk of these kids, I would want to ask you that were the kids this indifferent and stubborn since the time they were mere infants? Who is responsible for this change in their behavior from infancy to teenage? Why is it that a few kids are doing amazingly well in many fields and the others are reluctant?  When board results are declared then most of the teachers tend to take credit if the kids pass in flying colors and point out the demerits of the kids when they don’t perform well. Isn’t the same happening at their homes too? The father would proudly spread the news of his child doing well and in case of academic and behavioral downfall he would question the mother, as to how is she raising their kids. So as a father if one can take the credit then one should also be ready to share the blame.

I don’t want to talk about shortcomings but want to discuss that we as parents and teachers should try to understand, what our kids actually need instead of fulfilling their wants. The kids are at loggerheads with the teachers and parents because we as their guardians are imposing rules on them instead of helping them understand what they actually need. The concept of joint families played a crucial role as the unavailability of parents was being taken care of by the grandparents. And the child would find a neutral space to put forth his points and any of the  shortcomings of the parents was thus compensated. Today, the gap of the generations is widening, the conflicts within the family members are surfacing and are dealt with in front of the child. Today, a child is expected to excel in numerous fields and is carrying the burden of incessant competition. If the kids are experiencing loneliness today, is it their fault? Did they ask their parents to be ambitious? These questions perturb me and I have to repeat time and again that we blame kids for our limitations.

In today’s all are stressed and in the process do not introspect but ask for actions and solutions against each other’s. In this respect I would like to cite an example of confession by a child through a song. Recently, inter school classical music competition took place in the school and the participants exhibited amazing patience and discipline. One of the kids sang a song which conveyed the idea that there were many shortcomings in him and he would have committed many mistakes and God should show him the right path.  This acceptance of mistake in the present times has become a lost practice. No one is ready to accept their mistake. When we adults aren’t ready to accept our mistakes then how would kids accept, confess, confide in us and finally improve?

Sometimes when I talk to the kids, a few of them confess their mistakes and even promise, crying, that they would never commit the mistake again and they are genuinely sorry.  But are these tears real in all the cases? Yes but not always because after a few minutes some children are found smirking and giggling. But the question arises that from where the kids have acquired this pretense?

On various tours with students, I get a chance to observe them. In some cases, it is observed that the students are veru well behaved and organized. They would have have acquired all the information about the places to be visited and their importance. These children are very punctual and follow the advice of the teachers. Their rooms are neat , tidy and well kept. But at the same there are many who would not even know by what mode and what time their travel is planned ,forget about the places to be visited. They are usually late without realizing that this approach will disturb the entire group. This first group of the children have been groomed well by the parents/family whereas in the second case this has not been so. Isn’t upbringing marking a drastic difference here? Well, it’s something to think about. Mobiles, motorcycles and other facilities are considered to be a token of pleasure and are used recklessly by the students and it’s disappointing that parents are promoting these.

Values cannot be brought with money. Values are imbibed and inculcated and the present generation needs it on a priority basis. Try listening and encouraging the kids to listen to educational All India Radio channels or such other media, inspirational books and motivational TV shows which showcase the traditional and historical tales of our country. If kids listen to the inspiring stories of Panna Dhai, MaharaniPadmini and Maharana Pratap,Sardar Patel and such other great people then we don’t need to lecture them on moral values. Kids do observe and they observe a lot so we need to take care of our conduct and activities in front of them.

Another important thing to make children aware of is the value of hard work. They should not be provided with all the possible luxuries which mould them to take things for granted. They will have to be shown that the facilities they are enjoying are a result of consistent hard work and sacrifices on the part of their parents and grandparents. They should be taught to lead a humble life with a realization that nothing would come easy in life and one should relish what one is worthy of as that gives the real satisfaction. Kids have to understand that even in 21^st century, hard work is the key to success.

Another issue that kids today do not get the chance to accept defeat gracefully. Exposed to expensive and virtual video games they have lost the art of learning through failures. In these games (which are violent and vulgar) the character they associated themselves with usually wins, which is not always the case in real life hence they do not learn to take defeat in their stride. But this is our responsibility to make them understand that failure is a stepping stone and makes one strong and helps learn from mistakes.

Some parents do raise the concern that the change in exam system has created a lot of stress on students (I do not know whether these are the parents whose stress pass on to the students) and hence, to be thorough with the course tuitions become important. Talking about the trap of coaching and tuitions, I would request the patents to avoid this farce show of commercial education. Half of the problems are arising due to them. Self-study is thereby becoming a ‘lost art’. Parents need to make sure that students do not waste time in coaching and work hard on self-study. By providing the tuitions, are we not serving them on the plate; everything is cooked and soon fed? And in this way we are killing creativity and curiosity. Tuition is a disease and parents are promoting it again as a necessity which it is not. If students are consistent then they won’t face such problems.

To conclude, I would give a tribute to Prof Yashpal, who was known for his contributions to the study of cosmic rays, as well as for being an institution-builder. In 1993, the Ministry of Human Resource Development (MHRD), Government of India, set up a National Advisory Committee, with Yashpal as chairman, to go into the issue of overburdening of school children. The report of the committee, entitled "Learning without Burden", is now regarded as a seminal document in Indian education. He believed in letting students ask questions and lighten their burden. He encouraged the students to ask questions because learning is the process that takes place in the time between students asking a question and teacher’s reply.

So, let the kids explore their horizons and let us be the facilitators not ‘providers of facilities’. I request the parents and teachers to take care of these points to help the kids not just grow but to develop. It’s our duty to provide them with the correct environment. Start practicing positivity towards the kids. Scold them, guide them but don’t give up on them.