Importance of Inculcating Self Reliance in Kids

“You cannot help children permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.”

Cleanliness and hygiene are the basic values and etiquettes inculcated in every child. Both parents and school strive for accomplishing this goal. “Swachh Bharat Mission” initiated by honourable Prime Minister Narendra Modi, is a commendable step, uniting the nation on the grounds of cleanliness. Not only the people in general but also many schools across the nation have welcomed this move with appreciation and enthusiasm. Students are enthusiastically involved in this cause and contributed in cleaning the school premises to celebrate the event in its true spirit. Realizing the gravitas of the event, students picked up paper bits from the classroom and playground and cleaned the school premises with teachers, showing exuberance and positivity.

Even parents, across the nation, welcomed this idea and encouraged their kids to participate in cleanliness drives, actively. Amidst this sense of responsibility towards cleanliness of the nation and self-hygiene, a few schools faced objection from a few parents as they were against the idea of including kids in cleaning the school premises and picking garbage. It was quite surprising as importance of cleanliness & hygiene should be the basic, and the most important lesson taught in schools as well as at home.

Education underlines the idea of holistic development of students and a major part of this is self-reliance. In the era of DIY (DO IT YOURSELF) our kids are still being pampered and raised in such a way where they are not being made responsible enough to do their work themselves.  They have all  kinds of help available when it comes to preparing their uniform for school, cleaning their clothes, washing the dishes they use and even for making their bed and keeping their room clean.

Self reliance starts with basic responsibilities which kids are deprived of on a daily basis. It’s high time that we work in the direction of making our children learn to be more resourceful and less dependent on us. “Data shows that the 21st century parenting style is a lot of protecting, rescuing, helicoptering, over-involving, micromanaging, and enabling and it’s not doing our kids any favors.” When you are doing all this you are attempting to take on a responsibility that you should not be doing. You are making your child dependent and someone who would be ready with this question in all trying situations, “What would we do now?”

“You are your child’s parent. But that does not mean you have to run your child’s life. You are not expected to do this and you really don’t have the ability to do this; especially if your child is a teen. Your child is now a teenager and has a need to be in control of his own life. More than that, it is your responsibility as a parent to help your child learn to take control of his own life. This is part of teaching your child how to become an adult.” Our role as parents and teachers is to prepare our child to function as an adult, to help them take decisions and make choices in difficult situation. And for this they need to learn at a very tender age, the art of trusting and depending on themselves for various things including their daily chores. Discussions about it may feel like the least of our priorities. Teaching children principles of self-reliance, however, can actually help children learn to responsibly manage their emotions and behavior.

The father of the nation, Mahatma Gandhi spun his own clothes, and was able to provide nourishment for himself with a small farm he owned. He spoke highly of self reliance and propounded it to be one of the greatest virtues. But kids these days are so accustomed to the comforts of "I cannot", "I do not want to" and "it is too difficult" that they forget to realize when they stop doing things for themselves and expect others to do it for them, depriving themselves of achieving greatness. We have made them weak.

Well, this problem asks for a solution and we need to come up with ideas that could inculcate self reliance in kids without burdening them with the sense of serious responsibilities. Let’s see what we can do as parents:

v Seek help: Let the kids feel that they could play a key role in helping you out in various ways. Involve them in grocery shopping or making the monthly budget.

v Let them emulate: Both the parents should set an example for kids by keeping the used plates etc. at proper place after and washing the meal, wash dishes if possible, arranging the clothes and cupboards properly, keeping the desk neat and tidy and dividing the chores equally so that the child also feels responsible for certain tasks.

v Take a back seat: If you constantly do all the work for your child, they tend to rely on you and become lazy. If you want to change this scenario you need to take quick measures. Let the child get his/her uniform ready for school. Let them cook if you are busy for the day.

v You aren’t the saviour: If they fail in the tasks mentioned in the above point, don’t panic and don’t let them panic. Tell them to manage their time better the next time but don’t do it for them. It’s important for them to realize that they are responsible for their own success and failures.

v Positive reinforcement: Weather it is a little effort in making their bed or arranging their desk, appreciate the way they have done it. This would encourage them to understand that their efforts do make a difference and add to their personalities in a positive manner.

v Appreciate their style: Spread their little efforts of self reliance by sharing it with their friends so that they remain motivated.

v Let them be the change: If they are perturbed by the mess around the room and in the locality, ask them to take an initiative to find solutions. Encourage them to write letter to the editor and conduct and get involved in little locality based cleanliness campaigns.

As teachers, involve your students in keeping the classrooms clean. Appoint cleanliness in-charges and regulate their work. Give titles like most organized child, most clean class and appreciate their creativity and originality in work. Teach them to organize their work at school as it is an important skill they need for managing their own lives-so they rely less and less on others as time goes by. Let them know the benefits of self reliance in building their future to make them “career ready-opportunity seekers”.

Recently, the parents of a pre-primary class witnessed the assembly presented by the little kids on the topic `importance of trees`. The children were at their best and parents were overwhelmed by their performance. One of the parent said that it was difficult for them to believe that their child who could not manage self at home can do so well in group. She was right but the fact is when the child got opportunity to do without much of interference and support he/ she did. The problem is that the children rarely get such opportunity.

I would like to conclude my views with these thoughts of Gever Tulley, “When we protect children from every possible source of danger and responsibility, we also prevent them from having the kinds of experiences that develop their sense of self-reliance, their ability to assess and mitigate risk, and their sense of accomplishment.”