Discipline - Bridge between Goals and Accomplishments

I have often touched upon the topic of discipline in my articles. Of late, student’s indiscipline has assumed alarming proportions. It isn’t wrong to conclude that this violence is arising from utter lack of discipline. Almost every third day we read in the newspapers, reports of students being indulged in violent activities. The issue becomes even more important to be discussed as there is increase in horrifying cases of breach of discipline by school going kids. In a recent case reported in the capital city, a child of class IX lost his life over a small issue between two groups of school students. Before we try to look into the topic of the article, let’s ponder upon some incidents.

In the first incident, a child got hurt while playing and the school’s nursing staff immediately took care of it as per SOP (Standard Operating Procedure). As a precautionary measure, the child was taken to the hospital for professional medical care and the parents were informed. The parents arrived when the child was being taken to the doctor’s chamber. The father acted in a very aggressive manner and without even trying to find out the condition of his child he started blaming the school and shouted in the hospital premises. He tried his best to keep blaming the school and didn’t even try to find out how did the child get hurt, this behaviour was really surprising.

In another incident two students had an argument in the bus. It was taken care of by the bus attendant and the issue was resolved then and there. One of the kids involved in the argument went home and narrated the entire incident to his parents, exonerating himself of his part of the fault, entirely blaming the other child. The next day, his father came to the bus and slapped the other child without even trying to know his side of the story. I wouldn’t elaborate on this but you can understand the consequences of such incidents where parents involve themselves without realizing that their child can be at fault too.

There are numerous examples that we come across on daily basis where children correct their parents on their outbursts of anger on very small issues. These incidents and the discussions on TV channels about the incidents including violence by school kids are still failing to look at the root cause of these problems, which is ‘the breach of discipline’.

The problem of indiscipline in schools has persisted over the years. These acts have either been carried out individually by the students or as a group which results in rioting or revolts (the present case scenario of our country is even worse). There is no doubt that indiscipline generally militates against effective teaching and learning and production of useful acceptable members of the society. The adolescents of today lack “the gift of a good start” (Colin Powell). The foundation plays a very important role in development. If we don’t invest in good bringing up of kids, we are going to face difficulties. And this is exactly what we are experiencing with teenagers today.

Interestingly, a child’s holistic development starts with discipline in every bit of his/her life. Discipline is the key to let the kids know their purpose in life and making them realize from a very young age that whatever they do effects those around them therefore their actions should be self-speculated and mindful. If you read any scholarly article on the problem of indiscipline, you will find a deeply researched study that how parents, education system and society is responsible for the lack of discipline among students and there is data to support the rise in violence with the graph going higher every year. Well, I do not deny that we do have to take the responsibility but I strongly believe that it is high time that we as parents, teachers and society as a whole change our approach to deal with this problem. Before I elaborate on the remedies let us look into the problem in detail.

The causes of indiscipline among students:

Where do parents fail?

It might sound a little rude but discipline is sowed, nurtured and inculcated; it is a slow and consistent process where ease and casual attitude has no place. Indiscipline creeps in when we take little things casually. It has become quite “ok” these days to skip school if the child was not able to wake up early. Some parents do not insist on a healthy lifestyle anymore. School attendance and regularity is not being taken seriously by many. Most of the children do not have a proper waking up or sleeping routine. A lot of them do not indulge in any physical activity and have no breakfast at all before they come to school. Gradually the important aspects of a good lifestyle are eliminated and this mismanagement takes away the peace of mind that a growing child needs and results in irritation, short temperedness and aggression. Some parents have failed to make their kids realize that whatever one gets in life is earned, even a small word of appreciation. Most of the parents today are working and have no time to discuss vital issues with their sons and daughters. They try to compensate for time with money. But money cannot help instil good values. The fear barrier no longer exists in our society and parents easily give way to children's repeated demands without realizing the consequences. This is a dangerous sign of decadence and anti-social ills. Providing a child with expensive gadgets and facilities isn’t star parenting. Unfortunately, with everything being served on the platter we let the kids take privileges for granted. They end up knowing all about their rights and the duties of their parents and know nothing vice-versa. 

Where does education system and teachers fail?

Although one of the many definitions of education includes the idea of holistic development but education system today has reduced to grades, marks and promotion. With 5 subjects at hand and tests, assignments, homework, exams and coaching; students are participating in an endless and tedious rat race. With periods after periods of studies and extracurricular activities there is no time left with the teachers to inculcate sensitivity through talks and stories, conversations and sharing problems. All this is expected to be done during the teaching of the subject through “value based questions”. Classroom teaching focuses on completion of course, meeting deadlines, cramming the same content in the name of revisions and following the lesson plans and unit plans. In this race most of the student’s clumsiness regarding submission of the projects, wearing proper uniform, raising their hands before answering, standing straight in front of the teachers, seeking permission etc. is neglected. If not neglected, it is often corrected with negative reinforcements which are often met with aggression. There is no time left for real conversation or inculcating discipline through positive reinforcements. Answers have become more important than how a child stands or carries himself before he delivers it.

Where does society fail?

Where society was once a force that brought people together and symbolized unity and civilization, today it has reduced to a parameter of judgments and conventional dictates with the young generation being under its constant speculation. It judges success in terms of marks and positions and happiness in terms of money. It chooses to stay in the stagnant water of orthodoxy rather than understanding the needs of the changing times. This makes a teenager rebellious and aloof. The crowd has taken the place of sensible and logical thinking. Any incident taking place in any of the school becomes the talk of the town and most of the times the rioters vandalise the school building or the buses without realising that it would not serve any purpose.

When do peers become a pressure?

In an alarming revelation it came up that an average teenager’s bag has a lot of inappropriate items. Why do they need them? Why are they required in school? Self-esteem is a trait which starts to take shape quite effectively during teenage. Kids go to any extent to prove their arguments. They want to show that they are better and acceptance in the eyes of friends becomes the most important thing. These statements are common among teenagers, “My behaviour changed due to my friends influence, I and my school friends often decide to stay away from school, I want this because my friends have it” etc. Their friends become the pivot around whom their lives revolve keeping discipline at stake.

How to inculcate discipline among students as a personality trait?

What can parents do?

Learning about consequences (what happens when we do something) is an important part of discipline and will help teach your child responsibility. When you set rules everyone needs to be clear about the consequences. This is best done when you're feeling as calm and in control as you can be. Giving lots of attention to behaviour we don't like can often reinforce it (lead to it happening more often). Make sure that you notice more of your child's good behaviour and comment on this rather than the bad behaviour. For example, are you missing what your child is doing well - cleaning his teeth, getting dressed for school, eating his dinner, playing happily with his friend, sharing with his brother? Look for it and comment. Children need discipline. It is about teaching and learning. It works best when you have a good relationship with your child. You can discipline without using physical punishment. Set rules and talk to other parents about their rules.  Spend energy on the really important things and learn to overlook minor irritations.   (Source: http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx)

Also, look try to be your child’s friend (without crossing the line as parent and child) and try to find out the reasons of their aggression and keep an eye on the company they are in so as to save them from the ills of peer pressure. Most importantly, parents need to understand that they do not have to submit to the unjust demands of their kids. The child may cry and nag for some time but if you succumb to his/her wishes and fail to teach him that crying isn’t a solution and one cannot have everything they wish for; then the child may “cry” his/her entire life.

What can teachers and schools do?

Both the home and school environment should be made exciting and conducive for learning to the children (students), and other educational requirement such as library, laboratory, workshop should be provided and equipped by parents, teachers, government and all stakeholders in education. Cordial relationship should exist between parents and schools authorities. The mass and electronic media should be used to enlighten all stakeholders in the areas investigated on the effect of indiscipline in the society. There should be reward for good conduct and punishment for bad conduct at home, school and society at large by parents. Schools can give away awards to disciplined students every year to encourage more students to emulate the winners. It is the responsibility of the school to let the child realize that discipline is the key that shapes their talents and helps them attaining success. All schools should have a competent professional Guidance Counselor. Teachers should spend more time in talking to the kids about their problems and consistently talk to them about the importance of good company.

What can society do?

Acquaintances, relatives and neighbours need to appreciate the kids around them when they abide by the rules and follow instructions successfully. They need to appreciate a child for being properly dressed up or wishing them more often. These little gestures will motivate the child to be disciplined and will make him/her realize that being a disciplined child is as worthy as doing well academically. Society must abide by rules and regulations of the place the way it is expected from the children/students.

How to deal with peer pressure?

Parents and teachers will have to come together to help the kids from succumbing to peer pressure. Teach the kids to say no firmly. Help them challenge themselves for doing the best for themselves and not follow the goals of a group. Teach the kids to frame their own opinions and voice their opinions out loud. Give them the courage to evaluate their friendship and search out for friends who share their values and interests.

I would like to culminate with an inspiring example of the United States Navy’s “Sea, Air and Land” Teams, commonly abbreviated as Navy SEALs. Dainik Bhaskar, in one of its reports, elaborated that the training the officers go through, under SEAL is difficult and challenging. It enables them to become patient, competent, analytical and quick decision makers. They could achieve all this with strict adherence to discipline. “Discipline is therefore the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.” and “To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all; one must first discipline and control one's own mind. If one can control his/her mind he/she can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him/her.”