Success Is A Function Of Mindset

 “Winners don’t do different things; they just do things differently” - Shiv Khera 

A little less than a decade ago, I read a very inspiring book based on narratives from lives of extraordinary achievers in different domains. Titled ‘Outliers: The Story of Success’ – by Malcolm Gladwell, the book gives an insight into the hidden advantages and cultural legacies that encourage high achievers to learn, work and understand the world in a way others do not, hence explain the logic behind their success. Based on the same book, I wrote about the ‘10,000 Hour rule’ (of practice) in one of my previous articles. What reminded me of the book recently was a very impressive podcast - The Mindset Mentor by Rob Dial. In the episode called ‘5 Keys to Develop the Mindset of a Winner’ he talks about five develop–able traits that differentiate winners from the rest, quoting from lives of two very famous basketball players – Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, which I would like to share with you all. But before we move forward, I’d like to state that I here do not intend to advocate the idea of winning so much as the idea of fostering a winner’s mindset / attitude and yes, if experts and researches are to be believed, a healthy mindset is not necessarily something one is inherently born with, it is something that can be built, worked upon and strengthened.

Moving on, the five characteristics that Rob Dial lists as fundamental components of a winner’s psychological assembly are as follows:

1.       They are absolutely obsessed with their goal

2.       They do not see an option other than winning

3.       They understand that messing up is a part of the process

4.       They surround themselves with winners

5.       They adhere to hard core self - discipline.

An absolute obsession about one’s dreams and goals is the first indicator of a winner’s mindset. How do we gauge what absolute obsession is? When the persistence and determination to achieve the goal surpasses all negativities that any kind or any number of setbacks can trigger, the obsession to succeed is absolute. In simple words, no matter what happens, no matter how difficult or unattainable things seem, no matter what people around say, one is focused and motivated enough to get to the finishing line. It is when everything else seems pale in the light of one’s goal and nothing comes even close to being as valuable. It is when each day is planned around becoming better; taking a step towards the set target.

Our goals might be different, big or small, something as big as building a business empire which could take as long as an entire lifetime or something as common as losing weight (which I believe would take relatively lesser time to achieve), the way to approach is not to waiver till it is achieved. The idea of fulfilling the goal should be so deeply engraved that all our actions automatically align in a manner leading us to the final accomplishment. And there is no stopping before that. It is this kind of fixation and passion, nothing short of it, which becomes the foundation of a winner’s mindset.

 

The second trait winners possess is they do not see an option other than winning. This does not mean that they never fail. It just means that they do not give up or stop trying until they achieve what they set out for. It is like how Michael Jordan once said, “I never lost a game. I just ran out of time.”

So the next time when things seem to not work out for us, we might not want to think of a ‘Goal B’. What we can do instead is think about a ‘plan B’ to achieve our initial goal.

The entire process of setting goals is structured around our personal philosophy and value system. Everything that goes inside our mind in the form of thoughts, ideas and information which in turn influences our behaviour and habits, forms our personal philosophy. And the same beliefs also determine our value system. Basically meaning that our decisions about what and how we do things is based upon what we think is valuable in life. Now whether these decisions lead us to inevitable success or unavoidable failure depends upon how we view life’s challenges and the sum total of our learnings and experiences. It usually happens that the negative experiences in one’s life result in erroneous conclusions, thus blocking the possibility of achievement of goals. That is to say, if after a failure we become more negative and fearful one; if instead of being confident about doing it the next time, we question whether or not we’ll be able to do it or not, the chances of excelling diminish largely. Winners do not let that happen to them. For them it is just that goal. They do not pursue it casually. Instead they let their failures and their obsession fuel the undying fire within to propel them into a whole new future.

So instead of losing hope or giving up, if we do not give ourselves any alternative but winning; if we learn from our mistakes and experiences and use it to empower and make us better, we are indeed moving towards inculcating a winner’s mindset.         

The third characteristic is understanding that messing up is a part of the process.

As is famously said, ‘If you don’t make mistakes, you aren’t really trying.’ Winners understand that every error that they commit, every fault that they make are stepping stones in the path of their success. They understand that the one way to learn to do something right is to do it wrong. The idea of not succeeding does not scare them. They know that unless they go out there, explore, test and push their boundaries, their achievements will hardly be more than mediocre. What they also ensure is to improve and grow after each mistake.   

As Rob Dial said in the podcast, “They can miss the game winning shot tonight and they’ll still want to take the last shot tomorrow. Because they know that they just missed a shot. They are going to miss a ton of shots.” Like the famous Michael Jordan quote, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

Winners never stop believing in themselves. Instead of beating themselves up, they perceive their defeats differently; they take all their messes in their stride and come out of it victorious.

So the next time we make a mistake, we shouldn’t regret that we tried. What is important is using that guilt constructively to bring about an improvement; a positive change; taking yet another step towards our ultimate goal.  

The fourth feature is they surround themselves with winners. We cannot succeed by ourselves. Everyone needs other people to help them achieve their goals. We need our families, friends, peers and colleagues to support us in our endeavours. But the way we choose our inner circle is of prime importance, for other people’s attitude affects us and each of us also in turn has the capacity to affect those around us. Winners thus carefully surround themselves with other winners, people who would fuel their growth and not hold them back. People who will understand their desires and encourage them rather than undermining or putting them down. It is very easy to let the wrong persons slip into our lives without realizing. The key is to learn to recognize their effect and take necessary actions to minimize and even nullify any damage. That is why we must take close looks at our circle of influence frequently. A timely re – evaluation of our associates while on the path of progress might not be an easy choice, but is an essential one. To be able to succeed, one has to have the courage to disassociate with negative influence whenever necessary. I understand that it is not always possible to do so. We cannot avoid talking to our co – workers forever or refuse to visit a certain relative, but what we can do is limit the time we spend with them, thereby limiting their ability to influence us.

And that’s not all. While one role of the right company is keeping negativity at bay, the other function is enrichment. Rob Dial in his podcast mentioned how Kobe Bryant had a ‘GOAT List’ – Greatest (winners) of All Time list that he would surround himself with and how it helped him succeed.

It is said, birds of same feather, flock together. When a child joins a new school or an employee joins a new workplace, from the heterogeneous mix of classmates or colleagues, they will flock with those with disposition similar to their own. Those with a winner’s mindset will foremost ensure that they stay in the company of other winners only, wherever they go because they understand that the pay - off otherwise will cost them the quality of their work. The impact of people we associate with is much more than what is visible to the naked eye. I therefore suggest, even if you’re not a bird completely with winner’s feathers, flocking with those who are, will help you evolve into one of them. Being surrounded by people with a winner’s mindset opens up the opportunity for us to capitalize on the power of their positive influence. By being good listeners and even better observers, we can learn amply from an outside voice, from other people’s experiences with failures and success, giving us a fresh perspective, which otherwise might not have been possible.  

To sum up, the importance of being in company with the right people in shaping our attitude is undeniable. Therefore, choose your friends wisely and as is famously said, “You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life.”

The last in the list is hard core self - discipline. Bobby Knight, the former American Basketball coach had once said, “The key is not the will to win…everybody has that. It is the will to prepare to win that is important.”

The formula for success certainly involves practicing a few simple yet effective disciplines every day. Problems arise when we give ourselves the leeway to practice even a small amount of indiscipline. What we do not realize is each undisciplined act tends to open the floodgates leading to breakdowns in the chain of self - discipline. The license we give ourselves to wander even momentarily outside the boundaries of self - control establishes a subtle tendency, and with passing time eventually gives opportunity for other self – imposed disciplines also to erode.  

The one way to maintain self – discipline without getting tired, is to enjoy the journey, not just the destination. Scientifically speaking, our body releases dopamine also known as the reward or motivation hormone every time our brain expects a reward. The key here is to associate the ‘feel good factor’ with each step of our growth. When we start appreciating the journey, our brain releases dopamine more frequently i.e. on every step of the process, making us feel self - rewarded by all the little achievements, thus encouraging us to move forward happily. This sets a cycle of positivity in motion, ultimately propelling us towards our final destination, ensuring that we enjoy each stop of our expedition.

On the other hand if all we care about is attaining the final success, our journey (due to lack of dopamine) will be tiresome and unsustainable; anything but fulfilling. And the joy of achievement would also be rather short lived. The focus therefore should be on creating a journey which is enjoyable and self – disciplined, supported with lots of positive self – talk.

An example of self – discipline from Kobe Bryant’s life is that he used to wake up every single morning at 4 am since he was in high school to practice basketball. One night right after winning a championship, instead of wanting to take a break or celebrate, he walked up to his trainer and said, “Alright, I’ll see you at the gym at 4 am.” The reason he was so self - disciplined was because, although winning the championship was important, for him it signified just the end result of a process. And he was more in love with the process than the end result itself. He inadvertently had his dopamine reward system programmed in a way that made practicing basketball every day at 4 am more satisfying than taking a break or winning the championship.    

To conclude, I would say, we all face similar circumstances; adversities and complexities. What guides us to different destinations is determined by the way we choose to set out our sail. The way we think makes all the difference in where we arrive. There are no shortcuts to success. It is not a quality that we can attain once and for all. In my opinion, it is a way of life that needs to be practiced over and over and over again.

To sum up, I’d like to quote Oprah Winfrey, “The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future merely by changing his attitude.”