Be Responsible For Your Safety

These thoughts are shared with my readers after a gap of two months and I think this is the first time since Dec 2010 that I could not share my thoughts in a particular month. There were personal reasons for the same and also was finding it difficult to come out with positive thoughts for all of us. But now I am forced to share my introspection, which may be contrary to my beliefs but sometimes you need to realise the reality. Recently, about 15 days back, my son met with an accident and as happens with all parents we also got scared as he lives in a different city (the one which is closest to national capital and most sought after in north India) and we did not know how serious the injury was. We rushed to his place and had a sigh of relief seeing him comfortable and thankfully there was no head injury( because of the quality of helmet which he is very particular about). But this was short lived as we came to know that he got his ligaments torn and these are to be reconstructed (which is a painful procedure). In the meanwhile, I met the gentleman, who helped my son and immediately took him to the hospital. He told that it was not at all the victim`s fault because the place where he met with this accident is full of stray animals including cows and bulls and one of the angry bulls suddenly came running to him and hit him resulting in serious injuries. Please mind that it is not an isolated incident as it happens across the country every minute. We do not bother much till someone from amongst our family members or friends faces this. I was coming out of this shock and another incident shook me completely. We thump our chest of creating wonderful highways all across the country and then leave the people to die, not always because of their mistakes but because of the carelessness of the system. A bus ran on Delhi Meerut Expressway in opposite direction and collided with a car taking the lives of six people of a family who were heading to visit a place of worship. A few days back a lady was run over by a truck in the second largest city of the state where I live. At this spot almost 40 people have lost their life due to the traffic chaos but no concrete corrective measure has been taken. The system is running at its pace without worrying about the people`s helplessness. For the benefit of the readers, I must mention that India has achieved dubious distinction of being number one in the world having most number of deaths in a year (1.5 million as per the report - “Road Safety in India- navigating through Nuances”) The three incidents I mentioned happened far away from each other (in different states) but would have lifelong impact on the families involved. While in the process of putting my thoughts across, a few more incidents disturbed every citizen having an empathetic approach. One the gang rape by so called students on the campus of a renowned university and the other video which surfaced on social media after which protests and anger across the country rose, portrays such a horrifying picture of the state of affairs, where apparently everything looks systematic but is actually a farce. Such videos and incidents are reported almost daily from different parts of the country. The country in which women are called Devi some monsters paraded them naked and humiliated them to the worst publicly. Unfortunately, I could watch the unblurred video and the scene is horrific that nobody can sleep after watching that. Are we living in a civil society or have gone down to the primitive savage mentality (I feel that was also not so low)? The political parties would play their own game in these tragedies also but we as a society we need to introspect and find some solution so that young lives are saved, our sisters and daughters are safe and also their families are not left to suffer.

My son, to reach metro would go by a motorcycle and this was his routine. As parent, we  advised him to avoid two wheelers but he said that it saves him time during peak traffic hours and also he would take all safety measures (wearing a quality helmet, gloves and controlled speed). After the accident all relatives and friends (including we as parents) gave only one advice that he should not ride a two wheeler. It made a sense because all are concerned of his safety. But then I realized that even when a girl is molested on the roads, do we not read/ listen the same sort of advices from different people that the girls should not go out alone, they should reach home early before dark, should cover themselves properly and so many more? In this do we not forget and forgive the ones who cause damage to the them and society? I agree that we are responsible for our safety but who gives right to others to take our life or dignity and respect. Is it the fault of an individual hit by a stray cattle that the cattle were freely roaming on the road or the mentally sick monsters roaming on the roads again to molest our sisters and daughters? Are the women responsible for these rapists being out with an evil design without any fear of the system?  The clear answer is big NO. Then what do we do, wait for the system to wake up and let people suffer or do a bit of whatever is in our control? I think the second option is worth considering.

So we if consider the road accidents, I think accidents may be reduced up to some extent but deaths can definitely be controlled by huge margins, because accidents, many a times are caused by others` mistakes also but if we follow safety rules and take safety measures at least the serious injury leading to losing life can be reduced to a great extent. The following and much more can be done by us-

The two wheeler riders must ensure wearing a good quality helmet when they go out and four wheeler riders must wear the seat belt.

Always leave for the work keeping in mind the traffic issues so that you don`t need to get indulged in over speeding.

Maintain your vehicle including the air pressure etc up to date and get the service done periodically or as needed.

Ensure that you do not use mobile while driving even if the speed is slow. If necessary to talk, stop the vehicle on a road side and where permitted (on highways there are designated areas to stop).

Keep an eye on surroundings so that you are not struck by something suddenly without having a chance to trying to save self.

The youth must not be excited to live the adventurous life with vehicles on roads and always remember the slogan –

“Speed thrills but kills”.

The most important precaution- please do not drive until you are confident of your driving skills.

Parents should also ensure that they do not allow their under age children to drive until they attain the legal age and have driving license.

Also please ensure that you have learned the driving skills and did not get the driving license through some connection because this is your life and also you should not be the cause of endangering others life.

To follow traffic rules, you do not need to have degree or be super rich but educated and rich in civic sense. We are told about traffic sense in Europe or USA but see around you in our neighbourhood (southeast Asia) be it Nepal, Bhutan or Singapore, no one crosses the lane or jumps the red light. Even at midnight the people stop at red light, though there may not be any traffic at that time, still it is so ingrained in them that they follow the rules religiously. Can we not do that? We can, and we will, the day we realise the importance of our life and life of others.

Most importantly, do not follow rules because of the fear of the police or fine but for your OWN safety.

Second, when it comes to the safety of our women folk we need to sensitise our male children right from the childhood to respect all, especially the females. If we talk to them sensibly and explain why to respect not only by words but our actions as adults, they would never indulge in such crimes as mentioned before nor they would allow somebody to molest any female member.

The children in the family should be treated at par with each other and no discrimination on the basis of gender should be made.

The mothers, sisters and wives must be treated with respect and our behavior and the conduct should be such that our boys follow the same at home and definitely they would do the same outside also.

Sex education should become an integral part of our education system and our children be aware of the physiological and emotional changes which take place with age.

The girls and boys both should be taught how to respond in an unprecedented situation.

Parents and society need to ensure that only girls are not tagged as for the family respect/reputation but even the boys sail in the same boat so that our boys learn to respect and safeguard the female members because respect begets respect.

The schools can play a very significant role by educating the youth(male) to be respectful to the other gender.

We may talk to them of the lessons from the Holy books of different religions.

Most importantly we should learn not only to respect only our caste/religion but do the same for others, because in such conflicts it is the women who get robed of their belongings (death of the husband/ children) and the dignity.

There can be many more such steps which can be taken to save the lives due to accidents on the roads and save our mothers and daughters from being subjected to inhuman behavior.

While submitting above I do not intend to absolve the government and agencies responsible for the safety of the citizens but only suggesting what can we do and not wait for the action on their part. They all know what to do, all actions and procedures are well documented, hence I do not need to repeat them but would definitely request them that tomorrow such accidents might harm their family members too. This may be only once in years but would haunt you always.

At the end I would like to publicly acknowledge the gentle man Mr Tejinder Singh, a young man (I have disclosed his name without his permission because he came as an angel for us) who helped our son and took him to the hospital at the cost of his own time and money (he left his wife, to whom he was going drop at her office, alone). Not many people would act this way these days because of the hassles at later stage. You, Mr Tejinder, have taught a big lesson to all of us. Salute to you and many more like you who help needy ones  without expecting anything in return. Such people may not come out publicly to talk about their noble deeds but we must acknowledge and pray for their wellbeing so that needy in future can be helped by them and others also get motivated to do the same. Number of such people is quite big, only thing we have to do, come together and improve the system. The system may fail itself but let us not fail ourselves in ensuring our own safety and the safety of other fellow citizens.

 

Dear Readers, wishing you all happy and safe life at home and on roads.