Steps Towards Success

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” ― Dale Carnegie

I would once again express my thoughts on the topic which is of serious concern for everyone who cares for the school going children, be it the parents, students themselves or the educators. The number of unfortunate cases happening in so called education city of a state of our country famous (for me infamous) as the hub of coaching centers. The newspaper reports/TV news are so meek that these are forgotten easily. There may be many reasons for their being so but another interesting trend has been observed in the past few years. Quite ironically, many politicians and ministers visit this city and interact with the people associated with these coaching centers. I see it as one of the reasons that people do not view the seriousness of the issue because in their eyes if coaching centers were playing with the childhood of the children then why would the politicians visit this place so often. When we come across of the reasons why children are attending these centers, we come across one common reason which reflects upon the unrealistic expectations from them. When they are overstressed they do not find anyone to vent out that, because there is no one to listen to them. The centers are bothered only about their reputation of being the `producers` of top ranks and maximum selections in JEE/NEET so they consider it as the waste of their energy to work for such children who might not be able to cope up with the pressure. The state government has not been able to do much. The question is- is it because of the revenue that is generated because lacs of students come here? If so, is revenue concern the only responsibility of the state and life of children is of no importance? Is it similar to the approach of not banning the sale of tobacco and liquor because these goods generate big chunk of money for the state? I do not know what is the reason but if the government does not do anything, should the parents and educators continue to turn a blind eye to this serious issue?

While I was struggling with these questions, I came across an article in Indian Express, as a relief to me. This was written by Prof V. Kamakoti, Director IIT Madras. The beginning of the article forced me to think about the reason why we fear failure. While thinking about the same, I was reminded of a story being told on one of the radio channels in which a father was quoted saying that his daughter, who is studying in class 3, secured only five marks out of 10 in some class test. So he was very anxious to go and meet the class teacher to find out the reason for the same because his daughter is very intelligent and he cannot afford her not doing well otherwise she would not be able compete in competitive exams later. Think in this case, the child got 50% marks and father still had the shock of the life, imagine what would have been the reaction if the score was 20 or 30%. I could (and so you would) relate with many stories educators come across in their career in our country. The word “Fail” is so much of a trauma that nobody wants to encounter with it in life. Prof Kamakoti quotes our Former President Dr. Abdul Kalam where he expands FAIL as the First Attempt In Learning, which is so true. Actually the meaning of this word should be changed accordingly so that nobody suffers the trauma of so called failing but learning something out of it. He further writes about himself and says that the one (he himself) who could score only in single digit in one of the subjects in JEE eventually became the Chairman of JEE committee which selected the students for the BE/ BTech courses. Just for the information of the readers Prof Kamakoti did not graduate from IIT but did his MS and PhD from IIT Madras and then worked as the Professor and dean in the same institution and is presently working as the Director of IIT Madras. This may not be an isolated example. We come across lot many cases in which the individuals could not succeed to achieve things but those who did, did not give up excelled in life. In addition to that, they did much better than someone who succeeded all the time. One of my colleagues once told me that his brother, who holds a very senior position in a company (third in the hierarchy) was not considered to be a successful student in his school. Later as he wanted to pursue the CA course, most of the institutes discouraged him, but he did not give up. After completing his CA (not from a reputed institution) he joined a company and rose to the high position as mentioned before, whereas many of his schoolmates (who were considered so called good students) have not been anywhere close to his position. You must be thinking why did I get so much engrossed in this word fail. As I mentioned earlier the fear of failure is a major reason for the children in that city resorting to extreme steps. In our judicial system there is a saying that hundreds of guilty may be freed but not even one innocent should be punished. The same way we must not lose even one child just because he/ she could not do well in any of the competitive exams. The related issue is the expectations of the parents which are so high that they not only consider their child to be capable of cracking these exams but also have the feeling of an elevated status in the society. I know of a family, wherein one child could make it to a reputed institution(IIT) while many others could not do so before. Now the father of this child keeps on telling everyone that only his son could crack it while others `failed`. Now what do you think is this? Is this not boasting? Such examples are not uncommon and all this adds to the pressure further on the children. The students in the coaching city do share their agony that they can`t go back to their parents if they do not clear this exam. And the coaching centers exploit this situation in their favour. Are they the well-wishers of the children or just building an empire for themselves on the lives of this innocent youth?

Another reason is the fee structure, which is unregulated and not refunded once you join the institute. So the children consider It their duty to continue so that their parents` money is not wasted, despite all the stress which is an unending and tumultuous way ahead. The government should come up with some regulation and ensure that the life of the children is not put at stake. Also the claims of the coaching centers should be to go through the scrutiny so that the parents do not get misguided by false claims. No coaching center should be allowed to admit children during morning hours (the regular school hours). No students up to class X be allowed to join these centers so that they get proper exposure to curricular and extracurricular activities which are very important for their social, emotional and holistic growth. On the part of the parents, they should not burden the kids with their expectations. Allow children to explore their potential and aptitude and let them take a call accordingly. Do not worry if your child has not scored as your friend`s child or does not get admission in a reputed college/ university. I can share numerous examples (and you can see it around you) in which many so called average students not necessarily from reputed institutions, have excelled in their life much more than others. I remember one more example of the child of a very close family friend, whose daughter was really good in extracurricular activities but as she advanced to senior classes, she attended the coaching center but could not get through and then did her graduation from an average university in a small town of the state. After graduation she joined a college in USA and did extra ordinarily well and now she is not only enjoying the work place but also earning a very good livelihood and some of her friends who graduated from highly staked engineering institutes are neither enjoying their work nor are able to earn anywhere close to her. So my sincere advice, once again would be to not to push your child too much and let him/ her learn the lessons of life in the most candid manner in the school. Let them learn to work hard but also be happy in life whatever may the situation and that does not happen in coaching centers but in real schooling experience. Please let them learn from their failures and do not ridicule them for that. This applies to the educators as well as your role is equally important. Teach the children the way they want to learn. Recognize and understand their potential and encourage them to blossom. As Dr. Maria Montessori said that the children have all within them and nothing is to be poured from outside so allow them to understand their self and exploit that to grow. Stop neglecting any child and let them feel worthy of doing something great in their life. If parents and educators keep these simple things in mind and practice them, the word fail will automatically get deleted from the dictionary.

I am sure by following these steps we shall do a great service not only to our children but also to the entire human race.

 

 “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.” —Dale Carnegie