Nurturing respect

The two incidents which happened in the last few days have slackened all the people across the world. The first was in the most developed nation of the world and the second in the most developing nation. These incidents force us to believe that East and West are no different in terms of the end result and acts of the citizens of the country. The person who killed twenty innocent children of age six to seven years and six seven adults ended his life also. The six accused that outraged the modesty of a young girl are considered to have indulged in the most heinous crimes against mankind. This innocent young girl succumbed to death recently. But shall we remember the same after a few days or months? Remember the case of Jessica Lal, Ruchika Girhotra, Kavita Choudhary and there were many more which perhaps are not in the near memory. Today there may be a wave of concern and protest but are we really alarmed about the degradation of the societal values? Do we really want to take some corrective measures so that such incidents are not repeated? I agree with those who say that law only cannot help us but the mindset of the society and the social and family fabric can.  The background of the two acts may be different but one thing is for sure that man is heading towards selfishness and loneliness. In the last decade or so even in our country more emphasis is being given to individual freedom and not the collective responsibility. The words ‘we’ and ‘us ’have been very conveniently replaced by ‘I’ and ‘me’, which is a dangerous trend. Earlier those who spoke or wrote against such trend were called autocrats who were against freedom and democracy. The results of being selfish are very evident to all but there are still some who want to keep their eyes closed. We have to think as a society and for the well being of all because we cannot survive alone in this world which is full for challenge nevertheless it is full of enormous happiness and positive energy.

Those who spoke for the joint family system were right because people used to learn the values of life through the indirect learning done in the family only. I know the habit of sharing and caring was developed without being taught by anybody when we lived together in the same house with many members of the family . I do not say that other family system does not have any advantage but the issue is the consequences of the same. The biggest problem for anyone can be the loneliness and that is the reason we can witness an increase in the number of old age homes. The new trend is that even those old parents are also moving into old age homes whose children try to provide them all comforts but their company. Though I do not want to be seen as having any gender bias but when we analyze the whole scenario, most of the heinous acts were committed by the male members. Why is it so? Is it because women are weaker than the men or it is the way we bring up our male children?  Don’t we unknowingly give a feeling of being more liberal towards our male children? I think this is true and one of the major reasons of the problems faced by the society. We have to pay attention towards this and bring-up and prepare both boys and girls equally well to face the challenges in the life.

The other aspect important to be mentioned in this context is to understand the difference between ‘of my interest’ and ‘in my interest’. Most of the time we encourage the children to pursue the idea of my interest without giving much thought to whether it is in my interest or not. We should also understand that all those things of my interest may not be in my interest so an individual should be wise enough to balance between the two. When the parents advise the kids about certain things which may not be of their interest but this is very much possible that these may be in their (children) interest. The children must be made aware that they have to learn the lesson of co-existence. The advice of the parents and the teachers is not to be ignored as the interference in the life of a child but necessary input for a better growth of the thoughts and the personality. The lesson of respect and love towards other is very important. The change and development does not mean to get away from our traditions and values but modify them in a manner which helps all and not a few only.

The personality development should not be uni-directional but multifaceted which should include the positive thoughts, love, respect, care and share and most importantly to be sensitive towards the feelings and space of others. The people involved in the two incidents I mentioned above seemed to have grown in an environment which would not have given them opportunity to learn better behavior. The young man who committed the crime in USA seemed to be from good financial background whereas the ones involved in Delhi crime are from economically poor background. What does it mean? This means that financial background may not necessarily be the reason behind such incidents but the manner in which the children have grown. The mother of the man in USA was educated and a teacher, while the parents of the people in Delhi were not educated. That is why many people say that we should redefine the meaning of education and the same should not be considered to be synonymous with degrees and jobs. We have to think beyond such considerations and see the crime in its totality. What is the solution?

I can confidently say that no one person or a group of people can find the solution of this problem. We should openly debate the same and reach to a conclusion. Also there cannot be one capsule solution for the same but this will be an ongoing process to sensitize all concerned. As a teacher and father, I feel we have to give space to our children but at the same time we should always be available to them for any advice or guidance. I strongly feel that intelligence and experience both are equally important and the parents and the teachers have more experience, so they should be paid adequate attention to. Leaving the children completely to themselves will not serve the desired purpose of curbing such negative incidents. We must try that the young minds learn appreciating others also. They should not be encouraged to achieve success at the cost of others by wrong means. I know this might appear to be a lecture but I am also equally disturbed because of such incidents as many other people are and that is why I request all to think about it seriously because today it is somebody’s daughter or son and tomorrow it may be ours also. So our responsibility is for all and if we do that we shall be taken care of automatically. Let us pray to almighty that such incidents are not repeated and strict laws are made to punish people who are unethical and the twenty children who lost their lives because of the insanity of one individual do not feel betrayed if such incidents are allowed to reoccur.