Let Children Feel Hungry

Somebody asked Gautam Buddha, “What is poison?” Buddha answered, “Everything in your life which is available in excess, more than you actually require, is poisonous…”

A life worth living often revolves around balance. But creating balance in life is a difficult thing. With the advancement of technology, luxury and comfort have become a part of life. Parents these days try their best to provide everything to their children. They ensure that their children have every facility and comfort. Although the intention is to facilitate their growth and development in the best way possible but this often disrupts the balance of life as kids remain devoid of the understanding of austerity and necessity. Every want is fulfilled which leaves them clueless about what they actually desire. Henceforth, listlessness and aimlessness starts dwelling in their hearts. As their every want is fulfilled they never get to realize what they actually need. This aimlessness results in deterioration of discipline and it’s impossible for the mind to grow freely without discipline. Austerity teaches discipline and creates balance in life and it is exceedingly important for the parents to understand this.

Let me elaborate on this idea with a few examples.  Recently, when I was returning from a trip I observed a little girl on the plane. Her mother was continuously insisting her to eat something from the various options available. The child seemed entirely disinterested because she might have been fed properly before they boarded the plane. As she was not hungry hence she appeared to be irritated and constantly asked her mother to let her be, in a very discourteous manner. In the second incident a few kids on the train were acting in a very disrespectful and unruly manner. They lacked the basic etiquettes to sit properly and behave in front of the strangers. A child got into a fight with another and was trying to snatch away his toy. When the latter complained about it to his parents, the parents acted in an indifferent manner and seemed quite disinterested to intervene in the matter and put a hold to the ruckus created. Not only this, children were disturbing fellow passengers every now and then by jumping on their seats. The unruly behavior lasted five hours till the time train reached its destination. I wonder if parents cannot make sure that their kids act in a disciplined manner then who will. Don’t they realize that this attitude might seep into their personality and will tend to make then rebellious and boisterous in other social surroundings too. Another common problem the kids are facing these days which is killing their sense of curiosity and tendency to do hard work is the abundance of notes and material they get from the coaching centers. Their curiosity and problem solving capacity is thus shunned and they turn up depending on the material instead of finding solutions on their own. There are many children who not only go to coaching centers but also attend individual subject tuitions after that. AS a result they lose interest in the subject.

In all the three cases mentioned above the parents had given the kids overwhelming freedom and options; as a result the kids weren’t aware of their limits, social code of conduct and their talents respectively. This is the reason that kids these days have forgotten the value of austerity and are often confused while making important decisions. As they have so many options available, they never experience the pleasure of putting ardent efforts so as to achieve something. They are never actually hungry, either for food or knowledge. Therefore, they lack respect and sincerity towards the resources available with them. We often see parents complaining that they have provided their child with numerous books in various genres but they are never interested in reading. Parents don’t simply understand that the excessive availability of resources has reduced their value and now the child doesn’t feel like he never felt need of something but still got due to which he loses interest. If instead of having 20 books he had issued one book from the library for a limited time period, the value of the book would have increased manifold.

The overwhelming resources pouring in every aspect of their life have left them confused and unappreciative. The repercussions of excessiveness are over confidence and lack of self-evolvement due to which creeps in insincerity. Kids often feel that when they have everything available to them, whatever they choose is easily available. As a result they do not put much thought in important aspects of life and keep on switching their choices. This is often observed in the case of the frequent change of streams in class XI.

Hindu mythology is full of examples where excessiveness has led to downfall. Ravana, the demon king of Lanka, had exceeded his Darpa or the daringness resulting in the downfall of the golden kingdom of Lanka. In Mahabharata, Kauravas exceeded their Maan or sense of superiority or ego that resulted in the elimination of Kaurava race. King Bali was known for his Daan or giving. He exceeded this good virtue that made Lord Vishnu eliminate him and be sent to Pataal Loka, i.e. inside the earth. The Neetivaani says, “Ati Darpe hataa Lanka, Ati Maanescha Kauravah,  Ati daane Balirvadhah Ati Sarvatra Garhitam” (Too much daring resulted in the fall of Lanka, too much ego resulted in the downfall of Kauravas, too much of giving resulted in the demise of King Bali, and therefore anything in excess is bad everywhere). 

The message is clear, too much familiarity and availability of something in abundance demeans its value. Therefore, kids need to be taught the value of resources by providing them everything in moderation. It might sound difficult for parents to do but even love and concern has to be moderated otherwise it is simply taken for granted.  “Love your children, but excessive love will make you blind to the mistakes of the kids which will ruin them. King Dhritarashtra was excessively in love to his sons, and we know what happened to the Kauravas.”

So the key is to have a balance in whatever we do or want. Living simply is nothing but balance. We need to do a ‘Pareto Analysis’ to segregate the vital few from useful many. If our wants are not in excess, we will live a happy life. This also proves the golden saying, “Rich is he who has less wants, not who has more money.”

There is also an Odia saying, “Atiru iti”, meaning you meet your end when you cross your limit.

Kids need to be taught to feel ardent curiosity and hunger for knowledge. It is only when they are allowed to work hard for something; they will appreciate their achievements and will focus and work hard to achieve more. “Necessity is the mother of invention.”  When the kids will have limited resources, it is only then, they will be able to appreciate them and use them judiciously. Limited amount of resources will help them to differentiate between want and need, a difference they should learn really early in life.

So, parents and teachers have to be facilitators, helping the kids at the right time in just the right amount. It is time that we challenge them to explore their potential instead of serving them everything on the platter. It’s our responsibility to strike a balancing act so that the kids use their potential to the fullest and strive hard to achieve something.

Lastly, to quote Gurudev Rabindra Nath Tagore, “It is simple to be happy, but difficult to be simple, which means that leading a simplistic lifestyle can give you happiness, but it is leading this simple lifestyle which is most challenging.”