Meaning of love and affection

Everyone of us is in pursuit of happiness and joy, and work very hard to achieve that.The meaning of joy is different for different people.Though it is not possible for everyone to reach to the ultimate state of blissfulness but we can manage to remain happy and enjoy life.The nature has organised everything  in such a wonderful and disciplined way that if respected and followed in the same manner, there should be no unhappiness in this world. But the problem is the greed and unlimited desire of achieving more,that  hinders the path to real happiness.Everyone thinks and this is true also that the parents do everything possible for their children. In the last twenty years, the parents in rural as well as urban areas are spending much more than what they used to spend before(mostly for the future of their children).As per the report in one of the newspapers the expenditure on education has gone up by approximately 150%(this figure is after taking into consideration the inflation impact otherwise the the figure is more than 330%). This proves how much concerned today`s parents are to secure the future of their children. But the question is; is it really making the parents and the children happy or they are adding more worries to their daily life? This will have different answers but one question raised by one of the teachers deserved to be referred here which she had asked after reading 'my thoughts', on 'Reach out to your teenagers'. The question was basically about a child who had been behaving in an undesirable manner and was getting disturbed when somebody would try to correct him. Even the parents were approached, but no solution to the problem could be found.This very concerned and devoted teacher took it on herself that she would take care of the child and help and support him to improve.After reading 'my thoughts', she asked the child to talk to his parents and the prompt reply of the child was that they do not care for him. The teacher did try to approach the parents but without any positive results.Though this child has everything, but the quality time of the parents.

During this period only, I was reading one book reflecting the thoughts of Osho and read one incident shared by him(which must have taken place more than 30-40 years back).Osho says, that once a American researcher and philosopher told him about a survey done in America in which large number of the women(those who had given birth to the kids very recently) were asked questions. The first question; did they really want a child?(The question was more explicit which I am avoiding to mention here). Most of them said- No.The second question was;were they happy carrying the child during the pregnancy? Most of them said no again.The third question; did they feel good when the child was born? Most of them said no.The fourth question was; are they happy bringing up the child and the answer from most of them was again no.

Now in this situation, think critically, that the child who came into existence and on this beautiful and miraculous planet without the love he deserved( if I use difficult words it might offend some people and that is unwanted) because he was not really wanted.The researches have proved that the child imbibes everything happening around him/her before and after the birth.The child who was neither loved before the birth nor afterwards, all can very well imagine with what kind of feelings and so called affection he/ she would grow and what would be his/her contribution to the society. After the child was born those parents started providing  gifts and other materialistic things and as the child had not experienced the love of the mother before, hence he misjudged these materialistic things to be the love and affection of the parents and followed the same in the life.Now, when the child does not express any affection towards such parents, they complain.My questions to them is, do they have a right to complain? They are getting the same what they gave to the child. The child when grows up provides all those materialistic things what he got, and that too without any emotions. This is not an ideal and happy situation. Nature created the opposite sex to keep the balance and that is why the concept of birth and death came into existence,which every human being should understand. Everything done for pleasure does not necessarily give that to us.

In India, marriage  has been considered a very sacred and important institution which is mentioned in our constitution too.This is also known to all, that in the earlier days motherhood was considered to be a boon and a blessing and any woman who could not beget a child was considered to have missed something most important in her life.There used to be celebrations right from the day the good news was shared with the family till the child was born and everybody used to keep the would be mother happy in every aspect. Even after the birth there were many rituals and functions held in the family till the child was of six years of age and in some communities even after that.This way the child learnt the importance of love and affection and followed the same in the life.

The incident about America which was mentioned above took place around forty years back. But unfortunately the same problem  seems to have reached our country also.People talk about the metros that the boys and girls do not want to get in the pious relationship known as marriage and even if they agree to it because of the family and societal pressure, they do not want to have the children because they may prove to be an obstacle in their path of so called progress of earning more money and reach higher positions.The concept of DISK (Double income single kid) and DINK (Double income no kid) has already hit the rationality of the younger generation.Though the situation in our country is not that grave but the signs of the problem are too evident. Great people say, learn from the mistakes of others also and this is the right time that our youth (boys and girls both )understand the importance and sanctity of the institution of the marriage and welcome the child with real love and affection, rather shower on them all the warmth of their emotions and see how overwhelmingly the children reciprocate. If they do so, they would not be required to pack the rooms of the children with costly gift items.